“Nurturing yourself is not selfish – it’s essential to your survival and your well-being.” ~Renee Peterson Trudeau
We are living in a time of global health crises. If you are anything like me, you may know more people struggling with illness and injuries right now than are not. As fate would have it, as I started writing this article, I received a phone call that my mother had fallen in her memory care facility. It turns out that she broke her hip and fractured her pelvis, and after surgery and a week in the hospital she is now rehabilitating in a skilled nursing facility.
Having supported my daughter for years through chronic health challenges, I know how overwhelming illness and injuries can be. There is often a feeling of being out of control while trying to navigate the many unknowns. It is stressful enough to be sick and/or injured but to add all the other stressors of missed work/school, doctor appointments, insurance, pain, exhaustion, and complete life disruption, it is not surprising that a person can become totally stressed out and overwhelmed.
And that experience of overwhelm and exhaustion is not only experienced by the person, but also by those who love, care for, and support them. Although it has been challenging supporting my mom through her healing process, I feel deeply grateful that I have had the following self-nurturing practices to support me and her. I offer them to you whether you are healing from illness or injury yourself or are caring for someone who is.
1.Prioritize Your Healing
This first practice may seem obvious, but how often have you felt sick and ignored the symptoms until they got so bad that you could not get out of bed? Or been in the process of healing from an injury and pushed yourself too soon causing your recovery to take longer? Often when we are responsible for caring for everyone else in our lives, we do not prioritize our own healing. If this is true for you, you are not alone. Choosing to prioritize your healing is the foundation of nurturing yourself through illness and injury and provides space in your life to embrace the other self-nurturing practices. As L.R. Knost reminds us, “Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first; it means me too.”
2.Be Kind to Yourself
Now that you are embracing the idea of prioritizing your healing, invite in self-compassion and kindness. When we become sick or injured we can be critical and judgmental of ourselves and our bodies which only adds to our stress and overwhelm. Instead choose to treat yourself like you would a dear friend and love and nurture yourself through the healing process. Check in to see what the most nurturing thing for you to do in this moment would be and then with kindness give yourself permission to do just that.
Being loving and kind to yourself will provide fertile ground for healing and allow you to embrace Melodie Beattie’s wise words, “Accept yourself. Love yourself as you are. Your finest work, your best movements, your joy, peace, and healing come when you love yourself. You give a great gift to the world when you do that. You give others permission to do the same: to love themselves. Revel in self-love. Roll in it. Bask in it as you would sunshine.” May you experience the blessings of nurturing yourself through illness and injury like the healing energy of the sun.
3.Rest
“We humans have lost the wisdom of genuinely resting and relaxing. We worry too much. We don’t allow our bodies to heal, and we don’t allow our minds and hearts to heal.” I totally agree with Thich Nhat Hanh and grieve our collective loss of the wisdom and power of resting and relaxing. Instead of prioritizing rest, we often push ourselves really hard and take on more than we can handle often leading to illness and injury. We have such a difficult time slowing down and doing nothing. From my experience rest is a magic elixir which offers profound healing in almost every situation. Give yourself permission to rest while you are recovering from illness or injury or are caring for someone who is. After you have recovered be intentional about prioritizing more time for rest and relaxation in your life to support your overall health and wellbeing and notice the difference it makes.
4.Eat Nourishing Food and Drink Plenty of Water
This can be tricky if you are hospitalized or unable to cook for yourself but healthy food and water are so important to fuel your recovery. Bringing mindfulness to what you put into your body can be empowering and very supportive. Choose foods that support your immune system, your mood, and your energy level. Processed foods and foods high is sugar are easy to grab when you are sick but usually do not support your healing process. Remember to drink plenty of water as well. As Kristi Ling reminds us, “Caring for your body, mind, and spirit is your greatest and grandest responsibility. It’s about listening to the needs of your soul and then honoring them.” Choose to accept the great and grand responsibility of caring for and nurturing your mind, body and spirit by eating nourishing food and drinking plenty of water.
5.Ask for Help
If you find asking for help difficult, you are not alone. This powerful self-nurturing practice is a challenge for many people. There are so many reasons people do not ask for help and yet there is no better time to start building your receiving muscles then when you are sick and/or injured or are caring for someone who is. Remember, “Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.” So, embrace Anne Wilson Schaef’s wisdom and stretch out of your comfort zone and ask for help. You will bless yourself and the other person with this act of self-nurturing.
6.Meditate/Pray
Cultivating the self-nurturing practice of meditation and prayer can be deeply supportive to your healing process. Meditation intentionally connects you to your breath and body, and supports you in decreasing stress, pain, and overwhelm. Prayer connects you to a source greater than yourself and supports you in feeling loved, protected, and deeply cared for. As Paramahansa Yogananda wrote, “Meditation is like giving a hug to ourselves, getting in touch with that awesome reality in us. While meditating we feel a deep sense of intimacy with God, a love that is inexplicable.” Choose to nurture yourself with meditation and prayer each day.
7.Acknowledge What is Going Well and Strengthen Your Gratitude Practice.
One way we can cultivate resilience which is so needed in the healing process, is to acknowledge what is going well and what we are grateful for in our lives. Choosing to focus on what is going well will prime our brain for the positive and uplift our mood. Recognizing what we are grateful for changes our brain chemistry and neural pathways and is nurturing and healing. Sam Owen reminds us, “How we care for ourselves gives our brain messages that shape our self-worth so we must care for ourselves in every way, every day.” Choose to acknowledge what is going well and what you are grateful for along your healing journey.
May you find ways to weave these empowering self-nurturing practices into your day and experience the healing effects as you nurture peace in the world from the inside out!
Sending you so much peace, love and gratitude, Kelley
