“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We only have this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand – and melting like a snowflake.” ~ Marie Beynon Ray
What a wonderful time of year to pause and reflect on how we are living! I began a beautiful ritual of reflection a few years ago that I use with clients, friends, and family. Pausing to reflect on the past year empowers us to make new self-nurturing choices in the coming year. With the hustle and bustle of the holidays, pausing can be a powerful act of self-nurturing. Give yourself permission to pause for a moment and ask yourself the following questions:
- What are you most proud of about yourself from the past year?
- What was the greatest lesson you learned from 2019?
- What self-nurturing practice most supported you?
- What will you need to let go of in order to cultivate more peace and joy in 2020?
- What new self-nurturing practice(s) will you develop for the New Year?
I love how nurturing this ritual of reflection can be as it supports us in focusing on our strengths, identifying what we have learned, and acknowledging our empowering self-nurturing practices. The questions also encourage us to recognize what we need to let go of in the New Year and to commit to nurturing ourselves in new ways to support our growth. The questions can be reflected upon individually, in your journal, or with your family and friends as a way of cultivating self-nurturing communities where we can give and receive support and accountability around nurturing ourselves.
The wisdom you receive from this reflection will guide you in further developing the art of self-nurturing, the ever-evolving practice of listening deeply to what you need and taking inspired action! If you need some new ideas for self-nurturing practices for the New Year, I will share five empowering ways!
1.Choose Kindness
Kindness is the salve for the grief and overwhelm so many are experiencing in our world. In truth there is no more healing practice than to treat ourselves and others with kindness. Incorporating kindness into our relationship with ourselves allows us to approach ourselves with compassion, focus on what we can learn from situations, remain open hearted, and transform judgement, criticism, and shame. There is an expansive energy to kindness that is magnetic. Often acts of kindness multiply and create more love, connection, and positivity in the world. One simple act of kindness can change someone’s day or even life. Being a role model for treating ourselves and others with kindness and compassion can create ripple effects of healing in our lives and contributes to making the world a better place. So choose to incorporate kindness into your self-nurturing practice starting with you!
2.Schedule Time for Self-Nurturing
This wisdom comes from clients who attended my “Self-Nurturing Through the Holidays” workshop series. I heard consistently that one of the challenges women face around nurturing themselves is how busy their schedule becomes and how easy it is to focus on everyone else’s needs and before their own. If you struggle to find time in your day to nurture yourself, place it on your calendar. You can begin with 10 minutes each day. Over time, you can extend the time, but the important piece is prioritizing time for you. Placing time on the calendar to nurture yourself reminds you that you are important in your life, that nurturing yourself is essential not optional, and that you value yourself. Remember the more we nurture ourselves, the more we value and love ourselves and the more we value and love ourselves, the more we prioritize nurturing ourselves – creating a beautifully sustaining cycle! Schedule time to nurture yourself daily and watch your self-nurturing practice thrive!
3.Embrace a Growth Mindset
One of my best self-nurturing practices has been to release my expectations of perfection and embrace a growth mindset. I have heard from many clients over time that their unrealistic expectations of themselves and others leads to tremendous stress and conflict in their lives. When we expect ourselves to be perfect, we feed our sense of “not being good enough” which continually undermines our confidence and belief in ourselves. When we choose to release perfectionism and instead embrace a growth mindset, we allow our mistakes to lead us to learning. Through this practice of self-nurturing we are able to see that we have made a mistake, but we are not a mistake and can bring more patience and compassion to the experience. Releasing perfectionism and embracing a growth mindset allows us to nurture ourselves on this process of life with more peace, ease and grace. To invite in a growth mindset, begin including the word “yet” when identifying something you are working on. Instead of saying I am not good at this, say I am not good at this yet. Nurture yourself through your journey of growth and be open to the infinite possibilities within you by embracing a growth mindset for 2020!
4.Let Go of What is Not Serving You
I love the question from the reflection ritual – What will you need to let go of in order to cultivate more peace and joy in your life? Imagine if we incorporated a practice of letting go regularly in our lives by identifying what was no longer serving us and having the courage to let it go? This letting go can come in the form of decluttering our homes, our schedules, our thoughts, our responsibilities, and our expectations. This practice can also be embodied every time we set a boundary and say no to activities that no longer bring us joy. Reflecting regularly on what you need to let go of in order to cultivate more peace and joy can be empowering and clarifying. This question can help you identify what you want and need in any given situation. Make a list of all the things not serving you today and make a commitment to letting them go over the next year marveling at space and energy in your life you have created!
5.Acknowledge Yourself and Your Blessings Every Day
In order to cultivate resilience, we must acknowledge ourselves daily. Nurturing a practice of acknowledging yourself every day will fuel your self-confidence and self-worth and allow you to bounce back from challenges and setbacks. Feeding yourself with positive thoughts of acknowledgement and gratitude will train your brain to focus on the positive – an empowering self-nurturing approach to life. Focusing on our blessings changes our brain chemistry and neural pathways and allows us to live with more peace and joy in the world. Nurture yourself daily by acknowledging yourself and your blessings and spread more love and light in the world!
Empower yourself by expanding your self-nurturing practice and live with more peace, joy, and meaning! Give yourself permission to lovingly reflect on your past year and then with joy incorporate new self-nurturing practices into the New Year. Give yourself grace in the process, remembering we are not aiming for perfection but rather giving ourselves the opportunity to try out different self-nurturing practices and then choose what serves us best. I invite you to release the notion that self-nurturing is another thing on your “to do” list and instead embrace the process of demonstrating your love and commitment to you! We have the power to change the world one self-nurturing practice at a time!
May you empower and nurture yourself in the New Year, nurturing peace in the world from the inside out!
Sending you so much peace, love and gratitude, Kelley
