“When you prioritize yourself, everything else will fall into its place.” ~Rachel Jo
Do you ever find yourself spending so much time caring for others that you end up on the bottom of your “to do” list or not on it at all? Have you ever struggled finding time to prioritize you and your wellbeing and then judged yourself about it? When we carry the weight of responsibility for others, we often feel guilty or selfish taking time for ourselves. These feelings often get reinforced by others in our lives who demand our attention and by a culture that celebrates the self-sacrificing women. We may not even realize how unhealthy this way of life is until we get sick, depressed, or close to burnout.
In addition, the more overwhelmed we feel, the less empowered we feel, which leaves us in a tricky dilemma. When we don’t take time to nurture ourselves, we are more impacted by stress and the changing demands in our lives. Carrying so much responsibility for nurturing others while not caring for ourselves feeds a pattern of self-neglect. The more we neglect our needs the more overwhelmed and exhausted we feel and less able we are to change it. Over time we end up feeling resentful that we have given so much of ourselves when we don’t have anything left to give. When we lose our sense of purpose in the giving and feel out of balance, we know something is wrong.
When we are in burnout we often blame and shame ourselves thinking there is something wrong with us that we are unable to handle everything in our lives. The fact is that none of us can continue to give without filling back up. When we consistently give from an empty cup, we have profound consequences to our physical and mental health. This unsustainable pattern of giving more than we have to give sucks the joy and gratitude right out of our lives and impacts our self-worth and self-respect. In addition, we also model this unsustainable way of living to our children and those around us which is neither healthy nor supportive.
So, what if we take a different approach? What if we choose to break our pattern of self-neglect one simple step at a time and begin to prioritize ourselves in our own lives. One way to start is to transform our mindset by recognizing that the more we nurture ourselves, the more we value ourselves making it easier to prioritize time for ourselves. Choosing this kinder and gentler approach will support us on the journey back to self-nurturing.
Here are 5 Easy Steps to Prioritize You:
- Be Kind and Compassionate to Yourself – Start the journey back to self-nurturing with self-compassion. One kind word to yourself, one acknowledgement of how hard you are working, one compassionate embrace of how you are feeling reminds you that you matter. The more you nurture yourself in these ways, the more you will value yourself making it easier to prioritize time for you. How can you be kind and compassionate to yourself?
- Take 5 Minutes to Reset – Give yourself permission to pause during the day to check in with how you are feelings and what you need. This brief pause in your day will allow you to be more intentional and self-reflective. Knowing how you feel and what you need is critical to prioritizing yourself in your life. When you create a daily practice of compassionately checking in with yourself, you will begin including yourself in the choices you make and prioritizing what is important to you. How are you feeling right now and what do you need?
- Invite Joy into Your Day – Creating a list of what brings you joy is a wonderful way to start prioritizing you. Joy can come from simple things like a smile, laughter, connecting with those you love, learning something new, laughing, beauty, nature, playing a game, being creative, listening to music, or intentionally breathing. When you identify what brings you joy, prioritize more of that in your life. What is one way you could invite more joy into your life?
- Connect with People You Love – There is so much research to reinforce how important it is to connect with people you love. Your sense of belonging is critical to your overall health and wellbeing. Choosing to spend time with people who love and support you, is a powerful way to prioritize you. Allowing yourself to receive in relationships is an important way to transform your pattern of over giving and create more balance in your life. There are so many ways to connect with people you love, so reach out today. Who could you connect with that would nurture your spirit today?
- Acknowledge Yourself and What You are Grateful For – A powerful way to encourage your growth is to acknowledge yourself regularly. Identifying what you are grateful for about yourself and your life reinforces that you are a priority in your own life. Create a practice of acknowledging every time you prioritize yourself and nurture your gratitude practice as a way of highlighting that you are a priority to you. The more you acknowledge yourself, the more you value the choices you are making feeding your sense of purpose and meaning. What can you acknowledge yourself for today?
When you choose to nurture a relationship with yourself, prioritizing you becomes an act of self-love, self-respect, and self-compassion. Take a moment to reflect, what is one step you will take to start prioritizing you? Now I invite you to place it in your schedule and celebrate yourself every time you follow through. You have the power to transform your habit of self-neglect into a beautiful practice of self-nurturing!
I love this reminder from Stephen Covey, “The key is to not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” May you feel empowered to prioritize you in your life as you nurture peace in the world from the inside out!
Sending you so much peace, love and gratitude, Kelley
