In the months after our house burned down, I gained a whole new appreciation of friendship and the dynamics of giving and receiving. Receiving help from people over a prolonged time of trouble can get very interesting for human beings. To be on the receiving end of love and support over time can challenge even the most balanced of us. Our first tendency is usually to wait until we feel better before reaching out. This is so common that it might be the biggest “waiting” we do when it comes to relationships.

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Almost everyone has a “social vampire” in his or her life. Social vampires suck the energy out of you when you hang out with them, and make you feel icky when you leave. As part of my deep cleaning, I looked at all my relationships and thought about who made me feel good, supported and excited to be around.

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What do you do when you seem to have outgrown some of the people in your life?

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Who is in the driver’s seat of your love life and relationships? Your higher self or your fears?

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It’s easy to love yourself for your “good” qualities: your talents and successes. The trick is in learning to love your less-than-perfect qualities. The most direct way you can love the unlovable in yourself is to bring the feeling of love to whatever it is you’re feeling or experiencing – even it’s challenging or unpleasant. If you’re having a hard time loving yourself, begin by simply loving the fact that you are unable to love yourself in this moment.

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