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The Saving Grace of Gratitude

gratitudeGratitude is my life raft.” ~Alan Kaufman

Throughout my life gratitude has been my saving grace, has prevented me from drowning in grief, and has quite literally saved my life. I know this statement may sound dramatic, but after caring for a child with chronic health challenges for most of my adult life, this is my truth. I came to understand the importance of gratitude as a practice, as a result of supporting my daughter who was diagnosed with epilepsy at age two and then with chronic daily migraines as a teen.

This gift of gratitude, however, did not arrive neatly packaged as common sense on my doorstep. Instead I spent many of the early days of my daughter’s diagnoses filled with grief and fear about how her condition could change her life and limit her future, and searching for answers to why she was suffering.

The profound grief and sense of loss as a new parent was all-encompassing and pervasive.

To add to my stress and overwhelm, a few months after she was diagnosed I found out I was pregnant and had terrible morning sickness, and then six months later my grandmother and father died within two weeks of each other.

To say that I was drowning in grief, overwhelm and exhaustion was no exaggeration.

Trying to find anything to feel grateful about during this time was indeed a challenge, but due to the incredible kindness of people in my life an opening was created for me to connect to a deep river of gratitude within.

Through the process of opening to what I was grateful for, I began to reframe the challenges I was experiencing as opportunities to learn and grow. I started to recognize so many blessings in my life, and deeply appreciate all of the love and support that was so generously being given to me and my family.

Intentionally including gratitude into my daily life transformed my mindset completely and even allowed me to identify the blessings of being the parent of a child with a chronic health challenge.

This profound experience nurtured my belief that gratitude as a practice is the most simple yet powerful choice you can make to transform your situation, your mindset and to nurture yourself.

I now believe that every difficult experience has a lesson to teach and when I view the challenges from this perspective, gratitude flows easily.

I have seen what a difference gratitude has made in my daughter’s life. She lived with chronic pain but remained optimistic, joyful, loving, radically hospitable, and took nothing for granted.

Gratitude has taught us both the importance of filling up our joy buckets and nurturing ourselves consistently. I love this reminder from Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan, “Don’t be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous.” One big lesson of parenting someone with a chronic health challenge has been to embrace each day as a gift!

So, take a few minutes to reflect on:

  • What lessons have you learned from challenging times in your life?
  • What difference does being grateful make when you are struggling?
  • How can you cultivate more gratitude in your daily life?

I love that gratitude refocuses us on what is worthwhile in our lives, deepens our experience of the good in this world and elevates the quality of our lives. Gratitude allows us to tap into joy, which fuels our motivation, enthusiasm, love, inspiration and the creation of the life we want to live. Gratitude also helps us be more resilient and empowered.

May you embrace gratitude as a practice especially during challenging times and may you nurture peace in the world from the inside out!

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About the author 

Kelley Grimes, MSW

Kelley Grimes, MSW, is an empowering counselor, self-nurturing expert, sought-after speaker, best-selling author of The Art of Self-Nurturing: A Field Guide To Living With Peace, Joy and Meaning and expert columnist for Aspire Magazine. She is the founder of Cultivating Peace and Joy inspiring individuals to nurture peace in the world from the inside out.

Kelley is passionate about empowering overwhelmed and exhausted individuals to live with more peace, joy, and meaning through the practice of self-nurturing to heal and transform the world. In addition, she provides professional and leadership development to organizations dedicated to making the world a better place. She is a field instructor for local universities, loves mentoring Master of Social Work interns, and supervising the social work team for the Epilepsy Foundation.

She is a sought-after keynote speaker and workshop facilitator and has been invited to present at leading organizations, including: Alliance For Regional Solutions, Carlsbad Village Yoga, The Epilepsy Foundation, Exodus Recovery Inc., Girls Rising, Hands of Peace, Lifeline Community Services, MAAC, Regional Center, ResCare, Vista Community Clinic, and many school districts on a variety of topics including self-nurturing, stress management, mindfulness, trauma informed care, cultivating resilience, motivational interviewing, avoiding burnout, and staying grounded in uncertain times.

She also teaches self-nurturing practices and strategies to women overcoming domestic violence, homelessness and other major life challenges for Leap to Success where she serves as the Senior Director of Organizational Development, instructor and leadership coach.

She is married to an artist and board game maker and loves spending time with her adorable granddaughters, traveling, and singing with a small women’s group.

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