If you’ve been trying to release weight for a while, but keep repeating the lose/gain cycle, it’s probably because you haven’t examined the deep, inner beliefs that are keeping you stuck.
Mindset and emotions are KEY to making healthy habits stick.
Thoughts create emotions, emotions create actions, and actions create your outer world. You manifest what you believe, therefore, your OUTER world is a direct reflection of what is going on INSIDE you.
If you’re carrying extra weight, that’s the outward projection of your inner world. As they say, you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve.
Trying to change your outer landscape, without changing your inner thoughts, beliefs, and emotions, is like treating a brain tumor with aspirin.
We tend to think of overeating and carrying extra weight as the problem. And the solution is dieting, discipline, and willpower. When that doesn’t work, we shame and blame ourselves for “failing again.”
What if the extra weight isn’t the problem, but a SYMPTOM? If you get curious, instead of beating yourself up, you can uncover the root of your unhealthy patterns and begin changing from the inside out.
The first step is becoming aware of your inner critic- that harsh, negative voice that berates you day after day. Whatever you tell yourself most often, becomes your mantra…..your self-fulfilling prophesy. The thoughts you have most often will either motivate and move you forward, or be a major obstacle to reaching your goals.
We think of our inner critic as a kind of coach, disciplining us, protecting us from failure, and pushing us forward to achieve our goals. And, that if we don’t push ourselves, we will lose all control.
But what it’s actually doing is crushing our confidence, zapping our energy, and keeping us stuck in the diet > lose > gain > shame > diet pattern.
Here are three steps find self-love and self-compassion and break the vicious cycle.
1.Observe your inner monologue.
Become aware of what you are saying to yourself every day. What’s the first thing you say to yourself when you look in the mirror?Do you compliment your positives or look for every flaw? Do you celebrate how much you’ve accomplished or over-emphasize your “failures”? Do you feel good about how far you’ve come or focus on what you think you “should” have achieved by now?
Keep a journal for a few days and make a note every time that inner critic pipes up. This will be so eye-opening when you realize how often it’s happening. It’s like going around all day hitting yourself on the head with a bat and expecting to feel better!
2.Imagine your two inner selves are in conflict with each other.
One is attacking and hostile. The other is the one that is receiving, who is hurt and upset by the horrible things you say to yourself.
Realize the attacking voice isn’t actually you. It’s a culmination of past messages your received from others, whether directly or overtly. Maybe a parent, schoolmate, teacher, boss, or a former romantic partner.
We internalize these messages, and, over time, they become deeply ingrained beliefs.
Once you separate the two inner selves, you can see the inner critic for what it really is, and start cultivating self-love and compassion.
3.If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
Consider the words the inner critic says. If a dear friend, daughter, or loved one came to you with an issue (like carrying extra weight and feeling like a failure), what would you say to them?
You would NEVER say to a loved one the cruel things you say to yourself!
Your response would likely be full of compassion and words of encouragement.
You deserve the same. The love you would give to them is the love you should give yourself.
This takes practice. You’ve been talking shit to yourself for years and years and years and it’s become a pattern. As you strengthen the kinder inner self, the harsh voice will become quieter and quieter.
Just like exercise, it’s something you have to build up to, little by little. Practice self-love and compassion and take it slowly and you will start to see positive results – in both your internal and external worlds.
