Happy is such an interesting word to me…
What is happy? Where is happy? Is it a destination? A feeling?
What I know for sure is that “happy” is not a place that you can arrive at and exhale … whew… all my work is done. I’ve arrived in “happyland” and now the rest of my life is going to be HAPPY!
That’s just not how Earth School works…
[Tweet “”Happiness is an inside job and BE-ing happy is a choice you must make every moment of every day.” @LisaMarieRosati”] There were lots times in my life that I was the embodiment of unhappy. And when I look back introspectively at those times, I realize that I was in some sort of resistance to what had happened or what was happening in my life.
I didn’t want to accept what was…
I was paddling my canoe upstream, against the current. It made me feel exhausted, frustrated and pissed off! My magical studies helped to snap me out of those looping patterns and Yoga teacher training helped a lot too. Yogis are taught to practice acceptance… and in order to practice acceptance, you must first begin with self- acceptance.
That’s a tough one for most women…
I really desired more peace and flow in my life. I wanted to feel divine grace moving in my life so I was determined to find acceptance for EVERYTHING; especially the crappy things.
For Example:
- When things didn’t go as I had hoped or planned.
- When people did or said hurtful things to me.
- When I couldn’t buy something I really wanted.
- When my husband Mike wouldn’t kiss my ass and try to make up with me during an argument.
- When my dogs went to the potty on my patio instead of their potty area on the property AGAIN!
- Etc…
Through my practice of acceptance, I realized just how much I naturally lived in a state of resistance to accepting what was. Have you ever noticed that it’s so much easier to feel unhappy than it is to pull yourself up to happy when things aren’t rolling out as you hope or going your way? It makes perfect sense really… happy is a high vibration and unhappy is a lower vibration so “happy” is harder to achieve… unless you become really good at having acceptance!
You cannot control other people’s behavior or outcomes in life but you can control how you respond to things.
I can say without hesitation that non-attachment to results and acceptance to “what is” is the key to living a peaceful and graceful life. That’s not to say that I don’t want things… I can assure you that I do. I simply send my intentions into the Universe and back the desire up with aligned action… if it doesn’t work out, I have acceptance and faith that it wasn’t the right time and that the Universe has something even more wonderful and perfect in store for me.
It’s called Divine Timing… and I believe in it with every cell in my body.
Now let’s address self-acceptance. To be truly happy you must first possess unconditional self-acceptance – because like I mentioned earlier, happiness is an inside job. Self-acceptance is a practice of cultivating self-compassion, letting go of guilt and shame and learning to forgive YOU. Happiness and self-acceptance go hand in hand. In fact, I’ll go as far as to say that your level of self-acceptance determines your level of happiness. The more self-acceptance you have, the more happiness you’ll allow yourself to accept, receive and enjoy. In other words, you enjoy as much happiness as you believe you’re worthy of.
A Modern Day Goddess unconditionally loves and accepts herself. She knows and embraces her shadow self. Your shadow self is nothing more than something in you that has not yet been illuminated because they’re parts of you that are scary, repressed, socially unacceptable and/or norm violating (in your opinion) so you keep them hidden… on the down low in the dark corners of your soul. Once I stopped hiding my true nature, editing myself, apologizing for being me, dimming my light so others could feel less threatened and began speaking and living in alignment with my truth – out loud and with confidence… my happiness level went through the roof.
Why?
Because… I turned my canoe around and started to coast with life’s current; in alignment with Universal Law, my truth and without attachment to expectation. Living in the flow and without expectations is possible for everyone… including YOU. The first step is determining what thoughts, limiting beliefs or behaviors act as your roadblocks.
Questions To Help With Roadblocks To Attachment and Expectation:
What would need to change in your attitude or responses for you to live your most delicious and empowered Goddess life, even if the roadblock(s) do not change?
If this roadblock is hard to get rid of or is beyond your control, how can you choose to experience it differently?
If you can’t change your roadblock, how can you make peace with it?
What is this roadblock teaching you? What is the gift this pain or struggle brings?
What good can come of this if you allowed it to? How could this roadblock or struggle teach you compassion, or grace, or endurance, or acceptance?
Some Questions About Happiness to Journal About:
Do you think happiness lies within you? Or does it depend on other people or external things?
Was there a time in your life when you felt authentically happy? If so, when?
What factors created your happiness back then?
How has your life changed since that time?
What things in your life are you in resistance to?
What parts or truths about yourself have you hidden or suppressed? Are you embarrassed about any part of you? What things have you not forgiven yourself about?
How can you begin to find self-acceptance and acceptance in your life? What do you need to let go of in order to heal from the inside out? Forgiveness, anger, jealousy, lack, ect… towards yourself or others?
What factors most influence your sense of happiness? And do you think that expectations play a role?
In what situations can you turn your canoe around and travel with the current?
What could you start doing right now that would bring more ease and grace in your life?
My lovely, life is a journey and we are all a work in progress… letting go of attachment and finding acceptance for what is in your life is the key to true happiness. My hope is that this article helped you to discover some gold nuggets of wisdom that will serve you well.
