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The Art of Self-Nurturing: Permission to Play

The Art of Self-Nurturing: Permission to Play by Kelley Grimes, MSW  | #AspireMag

“We don’t stop playing because we growold;   

we grow old because we stop playing.”    

~George Bernard Shaw  

I have been exploring play and the nurturing power of play for the last few months. It may be inspired by the weather getting warmer or the days getting longer or the new electric bike I ordered, but everything seems to be calling me to play. I have been so inspired by play that I taught a workshop at a Women’s Retreat called “The Art of Self-Nurturing: Permission to Play” to engage with others around the nurturing power of play. And what I learned is that after a year of living through a pandemic and navigating all the challenges, loss, and uncertainty, many people are looking forways to add more joy, fun, and play into their lives. 

Play is something we know intuitively andeasilyengage in as children, butsomehowas “responsible” adults we stop giving ourselves permission to play. Some in the workshop even reported forgetting how to play. This loss has kept many people disconnected from the well of joy within, and hasdampened their creativity, spontaneity, and humor. With the rates of anxiety and depression rising and people feeling out of control withtheongoing change and uncertainty, play maybe the empowering antidote we need at this time.

What if we reclaimed the nurturing power of play and intentionally gave ourselves permission to play each day as a practice of self-nurturing? 

If you wonder how nurturing play has been in your life try this short exercise: 

Take a moment and pause. Breathe in and out deeply and then reflect on a memory you have of yourself playing as a child. Use your imagination and in yourmind’seye see, feel, and hear what you experienced when playing. Tune into the emotions that arise and where you feel them in your body. Notice how that experience nurtured you as a child and what you learned about the worldthroughplay.

Then take a moment and journal or reflect on your experience using these prompts: 

  • What are your memories of play as a child?  
  • How did these experiences nurture you?  
  • What did you learn about yourselfand the world? 

When I went through this exercise, I saw myself playing in nature behind my house and feeling deeply connected to the trees, plants, animals andnature as a whole. I learned through thischildhoodexperience that I am never alone and that I am interconnected with Earth, a feeling that has continued to nurture me deeply as an adult. Nature has always been my playground and I continue to feel a profound sense of joy, awe,and wonder when I am hiking, walking, gardening, and appreciating the beauty of the Earth. Recognizing how important play and connecting in nature is to my sense of wellbeing encourages me to nurture myself in this way each day.

I have loved reading Diane Ackerman’s inspiring book calledDeep Playwhere shewritesthat, “Play is an activity enjoyed for its own sake. It is our brain’s favorite way of learning and maneuvering. It’s organic to who and what we are, a process as instinctive as breathing… And it is fundamental to our evolution.” A powerful observation she shares is that above all, play requires freedom and that one chooses to play.

The understanding that one chooses to play highlights the importance of giving yourself permission to play.  

There are more benefits that play offers our minds, bodies and spirits which arelikemindfulness and include decreasing stress and depression, temporarily relieving pain, increasing a feeling of wellbeing, improving brain function and memory, boosting creativity and problem solving, fostering empathy, trust, compassion, and connection, teaching cooperation, supporting immune response, and keeping people energetic and young.

Play is a wonderful way to connect, bond, de-stress, and nurture yourself alone and in community. You can host game nights and bring games to gatherings even when meeting virtually. Play and playing games nurtures our creativity by inviting us to be mindful, present, and think outside the box. It allows us to learn and grow personally and as a group. And it is fun! Reconnecting to the wellspring of joy within us benefits everyone and supports us in cultivatingourresilience and hope.

I am grateful that play is a fundamental way we can nurture, recharge, and rejuvenate ourselves on a regular basis. There are so many ways to play. You can create art, sing, dance, laugh, and play board games. You can look up at the clouds and notice shapes. You can play an instrument, put a puzzle together, go on a scavenger hunt, play a game of tag, throw a frisbee, oraride bike. In our family play looks like playing a board gamesmultiple times a day, putting on a musical and singing and dancing, playing theABC‘s of gratitudeon walks or in the car, playing ball with our dogs,exploring nature,playingPing-Pong, or simply being silly and goofy and laughing until we cry.Indeed,the ways you can engage in play are endless!  

How will you invite more play into your day?

If you need motivation keep a picture of yourself as a child to encourage you to give yourself permission to play. Schedule a play date with friend or by yourself and put it in your calendar. If you have kids or pets, recognize your play time as valuable and prioritize it in your day. Tune into how you feel after you play and notice the positive impact on your wellbeing. Recognize when you are tapping into the wellspring of joy within and celebrate!

As LuciaCapocchinereminds us,“Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn’t taste good.”  

May you embrace the nurturing practice of giving yourself permission to play as you nurture peace in the world from the inside out! 

Sending you so much peace, love and gratitude, Kelley 

The Self-Nurturing Starter Kit

Say yes to yourself and claim your Self-Nurturing Starter Kit today! Your supportive kit includes gorgeous printables, including the Self-Nurturing Affirmations poster, Self-Nurturing Permission Slip and the Self-Nurturing Breathe cards as well as a guided mediation and an audio guide. Give yourself the permission to nurture yourself.

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About the author 

Kelley Grimes, MSW

Kelley Grimes, MSW, is an empowering counselor, self-nurturing expert, sought-after speaker, best-selling author of The Art of Self-Nurturing: A Field Guide To Living With Peace, Joy and Meaning and expert columnist for Aspire Magazine. She is the founder of Cultivating Peace and Joy inspiring individuals to nurture peace in the world from the inside out.

Kelley is passionate about empowering overwhelmed and exhausted individuals to live with more peace, joy, and meaning through the practice of self-nurturing to heal and transform the world. In addition, she provides professional and leadership development to organizations dedicated to making the world a better place. She is a field instructor for local universities, loves mentoring Master of Social Work interns, and supervising the social work team for the Epilepsy Foundation.

She is a sought-after keynote speaker and workshop facilitator and has been invited to present at leading organizations, including: Alliance For Regional Solutions, Carlsbad Village Yoga, The Epilepsy Foundation, Exodus Recovery Inc., Girls Rising, Hands of Peace, Lifeline Community Services, MAAC, Regional Center, ResCare, Vista Community Clinic, and many school districts on a variety of topics including self-nurturing, stress management, mindfulness, trauma informed care, cultivating resilience, motivational interviewing, avoiding burnout, and staying grounded in uncertain times.

She also teaches self-nurturing practices and strategies to women overcoming domestic violence, homelessness and other major life challenges for Leap to Success where she serves as the Senior Director of Organizational Development, instructor and leadership coach.

She is married to an artist and board game maker and loves spending time with her adorable granddaughters, traveling, and singing with a small women’s group.

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