Kindness…
Sometimes I wonder if people have forgotten what kindness means. As I see people hurrying about their day, I wonder, “do they notice others?”, “do they care?”.
Let me refresh your memory. Kindness is going out of your way to be nice or do something nice for someone else, with no strings attached. Ahh, there is it is, the catch… no strings attached. Remember my questions from a few weeks ago, do you practice gratitude or gratification?
When we seek gratification, we need something in return to make us feel good. The simple act of kindness is not good enough, we need others to know we were nice and seek their approval. You know what I am talking about! Hint: practicing gratitude produces the opposite effect. You receive abundance and love in your heart automatically, you need nothing else in return!
For kindness, the return should be the love that swells in our heart when we do something nice for others. And most importantly, the lightness and happiness it brings to the recipient! But that seems to have changed to, “If I do something nice, I want it to be noticed!”. Reason #1 your kindness never works out as planned!
I can admit, I have been here. In my corporate job, I would often leave small tokens of appreciation for the people that worked for me. If they didn’t notice it or acknowledge it, I would take it personally and say things like, “I can’t believe they didn’t even say thank you!”, “I spent a lot of time/money, they could at least acknowledge what I did”. Here’s the thing, I would often leave it without a note, my way of the “nice, anonymous gesture” but then I was expecting something in return. Wow, was I ever looking for approval and gratification in the wrong places!
Think about the last time someone did something nice for you. Did you feel guilty, undeserving, compelled to do something nice back? I know that I have this compulsion every time! Reason #2 your kindness never works out as planned!
What I have come to learn and acknowledge is that I am doing them the disservice of kindness by returning “the favor”. This chose to reach out and surprise me with her kindness when she felt I needed it most.
The best way to return that favor is to reach out when she really needs it, not as a reaction to her kind behavior. Save that kindness for when it is needed. You know what I mean, when your best friend is feeling down, just broke up with her boyfriend, got a bad grade on her paper, etc. That’s when she needs it most and more importantly, when it means the most.
Please consider making someone’s day! Enjoy your week!
CHALLENGE:
Do something kind for someone that you either know or don’t know. Choose someone that needs a little “sunshine” in her life right now. Expect nothing in return, tell no one what you did. Keep it all to yourself. Can you do it?!
TIP:
Remember yourself, consider a small act of kindness towards yourself this week. You can’t pour from an empty cup! This month especially, please be aware of your own needs as well as others.
