In this challenging time of the pandemic and physical distancing many have felt lonely and isolated. We have suffered not being able to be together this last year to celebrate holidays, birthdays, graduations, and weddings, as well as comfort each other at funerals and when our loved ones have been in the hospital or nursing homes.
Being apart has highlighted just how important our connections are to our health and wellbeing and how critical our circles of support are in nurturing ourselves. We not only nurture ourselves with others like when we take a yoga or exercise class, or attend our faith service, or enjoy a concert or play, but when also when we feel a deep sense of belonging with others that allows us to feel rooted and connected in our lives.
What might seem counter intuitive is that cultivating a sense of belonging actually starts with ourselves and requires consistent practices of self-nurturing to come home to ourselves, respond to ourselves with compassionate, listen deeply to ourselves, treat ourselves like our own best friend, forgive ourselves, and provide tender care for ourselves in order to feel a true sense of belonging with others.
Brene Brown wrote, ”True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness.“.
When we nurture our relationships and build circles of support from this beautiful sense of belonging to ourselves, we feel deeply nurtured by the relationships. As a result, we are able to maintain healthy boundaries and be our authentic selves. These circles of support end up being spaces that we can learn, grown, be accountable, and feel deeply seen, heard and celebrated for who we are.
Since learning to nurture ourselves runs counter to what our culture encourages, developing circles of support is essential to sustaining your self-nurturing practice. These circles will inspire you and help hold you accountable to your self-nurturing commitments. Connecting with others on the journey provides support, enables you to overcome obstacles, and gives you fantastic new ideas to try. Having circles of support increase the likelihood that you will follow through your self-nurturing practice.
When we share our goals with others, we are more likely to achieve them. Share your self-nurturing commitments with trusted people and invite them to check in on your progress. This added support will provide the structure needed to be consistent and accountable. Developing this kind of relationship with friends also encourages them to nurture themselves, thus spreading the empowering message of self-nurturing in the world!
Here are some ways to build circles of support around self-nurturing:
- Create an on-going self-nurturing practice circle using the book as your guide.
- Invite a friend along on your self-nurturing journey.
- Ask a friend to be your accountability partner.
- Include your partner/family/friends in self-nurturing activities.
- Introduce self-nurturing practices to your colleagues at work/where you volunteer/on-line communities.
- Join an online group to give and get support around self-nurturing.
- Host a book club with my bookThe Art of Self-Nurturing: A Field Guide To Living With More Peace, Joy and Meaning.
If you are looking for more ways to include others in your self-nurturing practices focus on what really lights you up and invite others into your practice. For instance, if you have a practice of gratitude, share what you are grateful for each day with a group of friends and invite them to do the same. If like to take walks mask up and physically distance on a walk outside together. If you love to dance invite a group of friends to take a zoom dance class together. If you love to cook, make a friend a meal and drop it off. If you love to garden bring a plant or something you have harvested to a friend or family member. If you love to be creative, make a card, paint a rock or a love note sign, or arrange flowers and deliver your creative gift to them. These activities will not only nurture you but will spread more love and kindness in the world and expand your circles of support.
There are so many ways to nurture our relationships and circles of support that feel nurturing to us. This pandemic has encouraged people to get creative and find ways to stay connected with video conferencing, physically distanced gatherings, weekly zoom calls, as well as phone calls, texts and sending letters and cards as a way of reaching out and staying connected with family and friends. I have loved sending texts of love and support to a different person each day, and regularly texting with multiple different groups of friends and extended family to stay updated, send encouraging messages, and create a space where we can give and receive support. These circles of support have been a lifeline in these challenging times of being apart!
What could you do today to build more circles of support in your life? Who could be a part of your circles of support? How could you weave more self-nurturing into your life by inviting other people to join you? How could building circles of support feel nurturing and uplifting to you?
Remember self-nurturing is about nurturing the most important relationship you will ever have—the one with yourself! So, continue to nurture yourself and your relationships as you build larger and larger circles of support in your life, nurturing peace in the world from the inside out!
Sending you so much peace, love and gratitude, Kelley
