Do you have a favorite quote that you have lived by most or part of your life? That one quote that just defines you. That quote that just gets you and it resonates in your soul on such a deep level that it almost melts into your very being.
I understand this very well.
Since I was about 12 I lived by a certain quote by a poet by the name of e.e.cummings:
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”
I resonated so well with this quote because since I was a kid I never felt like I ‘fit in’ with my family, friends or with society very well. My relationship with my mom was quite tough at times and I always felt like I had to be on the defense in life. My fists were up and always ready to fight.
A very wise and good friend told me recently that it’s time to rewrite this quote.
When she mentioned this to me I didn’t completely understand why. I was somewhat taken aback because I liked this quote and I felt that it perfectly described me.
As I was trying to understand the depth underneath her suggestion I started realizing that throughout my life I was always trying to break out of this box called ‘status quo’. I’ve always felt different and on the outside of most social groups. I also have realized that I was going through my life with this ‘fight’ in my heart and soul. Fighting to be me….whatever that meant. What I really had to acknowledge is that this ‘fight’ to be me really was a fight against myself. I was approaching life with a feeling of being separate which never allowed me to fully embrace life because I was too busy pushing it away.
The truth of what this meant for me now in my life started sinking in. The sinking feeling that my life has felt like a fight, of me always being on the defense had a real weightiness to it. I was also realizing that I have always had a tough time being open and vulnerable in relationships and because of this quote that I was living my life by I had put a protective shield around my heart and always had a tough time receiving. I was always pushing away instead of opening my arms.
It was time to redefine my life to what I want and who I am now. I knew that I had to rewrite the quote so I could rewrite my future. Going through this process was humbling and oh so healing.
The higher truths that I allowed myself to acknowledge were:
I am beautiful even when I look in the mirror and see imperfections.
I am awesome even when some days I don’t get everything done.
I am kind even when some days I say an insensitive comment or act like a bitch.
I am divine even as my human side rises to the surface.
I am love and my purpose is to receive and give love.
I’ve realized that it’s not about the fight and the separation we think we have with the world. Its also not about being perfect, sweet, nice all the time. When we embrace all that we are….the good with the bad, the divine with the human, the sweet girl side and the bitch side we can truly embrace ourselves and therefore embrace all of life. We can start to fully receive all that life has for us.
So, I rewrote my quote that I am living my life by now. It’s no longer a fight to be me, to find me, to see me. I am.
“To know yourself, to have a peace and a stillness in yourself means to go to the depths of your soul, love and make peace with all you are, and know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.” e.e.esser
Is there anything that you need to rewrite in your life?
