We blame our bad moods and chocolate cravings on PMS. We gripe about our cramps and call our monthly ‘visitor’ “The Curse.” We tell people we’re on our period and they say, “I’m sorry. That sucks.” I’m as guilty of this as any woman. I used to believe that my “period” meant “a period of time when you’d better watch out and leave me alone!” It’s how I was raised.
Until my periods stopped at age 25. After 5 surgeries for endometriosis, 3 rounds of drug-induced menopause that left me with osteopenia, and years of synthetic hormones to “treat” my abnormal menstrual cycle, my body’s reproductive system finally shut down.
At first I was relieved. No more worrying about ruining my panties, ‘spotting’ unexpectedly. No more mood swings. No more cramps. But then I began to miss my cycle. Yes, you read that right. I missed having my period. I felt that something beautiful had been stolen from me. My right to birth a child, have healthy bones, have some semblance of a libido, and live a ‘normal’ life – all gone in the blink of an eye at the ripe old age of 25.
I grew resentful of my friends. I started telling them what a blessing their monthly cycles were. They thought I was crazy. But I knew – I knew what it was like to have the gift of womanhood taken away from you too soon. I felt robbed. I wanted my periods back.
I got my wish. In Texas for the summer to help my mother care for my dying father, I started bleeding. I caught the first flight home, fearing something was wrong. I had been told – for 9 years – that I would never bleed again. “It’s a fluke,” the doctors said. “Let’s run some tests,” they advised. I stopped bleeding. I went back to Texas. 28 days later, I bled again.
“That’s not possible. No one comes ‘out’ of menopause,” I was told. But I did. And it was a miracle.
After receiving the gift of my menstrual cycles again, I vowed to honor them. To honor myself. To learn as much as I could about my monthly courses. About how our reproductive hormones ebb and flow throughout our monthly cycles. About how they affect our day-to-day lives. About how to maximize the gifts the Goddess had given me once again.
- Days 1-4 – Your period – Sometime in my 20s I read a book called The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. That changed my view of my period forever. In Biblical times, the Red Tent was a place where women gathered during their menses. It was sacred and holy and housed all of the feminine mysteries and wonder – kind of like an ancient sorority whose initiation centered on menarche and whose rites were based on menstruation. Unlike the Modern view that women are unclean during their periods, the Red Tent celebrated women’s ability to give the greatest gift of all: Life. It also emphasized the psychological and spiritual practice of sisterhood – women supporting women through this time, including the elder women teaching the younger women the mysteries of life. A modern Red Tent ceremony can be as simple as taking the first day of your menstrual cycle off from work to honor yourself and the Gift you hold, spend some time with your girlfriends, journal about how you feel, and enjoy the wisdom your body is providing you. This is the most important time of the month to Nourish yourself.
- Days 5-11 – Around day 4 or 5 you should start to notice a few changes: 1) your bleeding has slowed down or stopped completely, 2) the puffiness you may have experienced at the start of your cycle is gone, and 3) your mood is lifting. You have estrogen to thank for that. Between now and ovulation, your estrogen rises drastically. You feel incredible: sexy, flirtatious, and fun. Your energy is at its highest, as is your pain tolerance. Have a project that needs completed? Now’s the time. Been meaning to learn to tango? Go for it! Just don’t go on a shopping spree as we tend to be a little more impulsive when estrogen is on the rise.
- Days 12-16 – Most women ovulate between Day 12 and Day 16 of their menstrual cycle. You’ll likely notice a few physical changes occurring around this time: 1) your pain tolerance is through the roof, 2) your cervical mucus becomes thicker and more slippery, and 3) your skin is glowing and your smile is radiant. Oh – and your libido is soaring, making just about any man look like lunch!
- Days 16-22 – Two days following ovulation, your progesterone level will begin to rise. Progesterone is a mood-enhancer that mellows you out and stamps out any anxiety you may have been feeling earlier in your cycle. So while you may not feel like a social butterfly right now, you are perfectly happy staying at home and reading a good book or entertaining a few close girlfriends. Progesterone also makes the mothering instinct come out. You may find you’re more willing to help complete strangers than you were two weeks ago. You may also feel like sprucing up the house or baking cookies. All of these are nurturing, home-body kinds of activities that your hormones are craving right now. You’ll also notice a creative peak in the week following ovulation. Always wanted to write a novel or take up painting? Now’s the time. You’ll find you’re more introspective and the words just flow right off the pen and onto your paper.
- Day 23-28 – Aahhh… PMS (Please Make Snacks) – as progesterone and estrogen begin to drop, your energy level and mood start plummet as well. Women often complain about being super crabby during their PMS and say things they wouldn’t otherwise say at any other time of the month. Pay attention. Without estrogen and progesterone to balance your moods, your true feelings emerge. This is not a bad thing. It serves to highlight areas of your life that need improvement. Now is the best time of the month for introspective work. Take your pen to paper, ladies. Journaling is a fabulous way to process emotions as they come up.
As a woman you have a power no man will ever possess: the power to give life. Each time you bleed, this is your body’s way of clearing out the old to prepare to bring life again. Even if you have no desire to have children, your cycle is still an incredible gift. Spend a day or two enjoying your next period using the tips above and you may find you actually look forward to your next menstrual cycle. I know I do.
