There have been times in my life when I am juggling all the things. Motherhood, career, personal growth, home, and passions. I have so many balls in the air, so much to do and so much I want, that each day feels overwhelming. I fear if I miss something, if one ball goes uncaught, the entire act will fall to pieces, one by one, and I will have failed.
My overwhelm shows up as a missed lunch date on my calendar, or a frantic rush to make my kid’s sporting event. All the while, I become resentful of everything meaningful in my life – so many obligations and tasks. Nothing feels fun or fulfilling. I crave falling into bed at night and I wake terrified about the coming day.
When juggling, I am rarely present. My mind is 12 steps ahead, and the critical voice is loud – You suck at everything. You can’t parent; you are not a reliable friend. What is wrong with you?
Chances are we all play multiple roles and have very full lives – parent, partner, friend, career, hobbyist, caregiver… As humans, we are superb at grabbing at everything that intrigues us. Curious and driven, we want livelihood and a sense of purpose. We want to help those we love. We want to raise families and create legacies. We want to leave our mark, on whatever we believe this human existence to be.
What a beautiful part of being human! To want purpose and achievement. So what are we missing? Why do we feel so overwhelmed and in turmoil when we are simply trying to live our lives as best and as fully as we can?
Just like there have been times when I know I am precariously juggling all the balls, when I know one misstep will bring the entire show down, there have also been times when life flows. I don’t feel suffocated or even burdened by the weight of all my tasks. You would think the quantity of workload would be the culprit – my first question when I start to feel overextended is, What can I move? Am I doing too much and can I let something go?
While this may be a practical and necessary solution, I have also noticed that the times I feel overwhelmed versus the times I feel at ease don’t necessarily match the amount of work I have to do. In fact, there are many instances when I have way more to do than I did before, yet I feel much more at peace and much more capable. I can do all the things and be present. I can focus on my job, my family, and my personal growth. Nothing has to be let go.
Why? What is the difference between feeling like I can and feeling like I can’t?
I believe our sense of overwhelm is directly proportional to our willingness to surrender. In yoga, Ishvara Pranidhana is one of the 5 Yamas, yoga’s ethical practices. In Sanskrit, Ishvara Pranidhana means surrender. Yoga teaches that in anything we are trying to accomplish, an amount of surrender is necessary for success. An amount of surrender is necessary for joy. An amount of surrender is essential to quiet the critical voice that causes worry and overwhelm.
Yoga also teaches that practicing surrender in all our affairs, from our yoga practice, to our career, to our relationships, will support us in our efforts and will bring more fruitful results.
When I am overwhelmed, I am not surrendering. I am overwhelmed because I am trying to do it all myself. I am stuck on specific outcomes. I am falsely operating in the illusion that my own skills and actions are bringing the results. I forget that there is a power greater than me which is my resource. I forget that my outcome may not be the best for all.
Have you ever lost track of time? In gardening, or cooking, or jogging? Have you ever been so fully immersed in the moment, that you simply do, without thinking? Your mind takes a back seat, and you complete the task at hand with little thinking. It is as if a bigger energy is present and you know what to do. You don’t question or critique – you are fully there, and fully alive in the moment.
This is when surrender is happening. You are not concerned with outcome. You trust yourself. The critical voice disappears. Synchronicities and signs show up. You may end up in a conversation or situation which you never intended. An amount of letting go in our every day can mean the difference between surviving and thriving. Letting go means we make space for the Universe to help us out, to guide us on the best path.
Ask yourself, where are you right now? What has been placed in front of you and how are you experiencing it? Are you resisting and rebelling, or are you accepting and trusting? Are you convinced you must do it all, perfectly, or do you have faith that your efforts are enough? To surrender doesn’t mean we stop all action. Our role is important. We must show up fully in the moment. We must trust ourself and the energy of the Universe to provide what is necessary for our progress and our fulfillment – not only for us, but for the greater good.
Often we get overwhelmed, not because there is too much to do, but because we are doing too much on our own. Release your grip on experiences and outcomes. Make time to breathe and meditate. Be present with whatever is in front of you. Allow space so you can receive the gifts and the support of something greater than you.
