I hardly ever spend more than three-minutes, three times a day in meditation. The way that I’ve spent these short bursts of time has gradually changed my attitude toward just about everyone and everything in my life, bringing me little by little to centeredness and freedom.
If you have a daily meditation practice you like, by all means stay with that. But if you haven’t been able to stick with any practice you’ve tried or you haven’t felt it was effective, you might like to try the 3×3. I think even just 30 seconds of true, uninterrupted inner quiet is better than ten minutes of peeking through closed eyes at the clock, or mentally making your grocery list, while hoping to achieve enlightenment.
Connecting inwardly multiple times a day has the advantage over one long meditation of shifting your mindset continuously, and repeatedly reminding you of what’s important throughout the day. Sometimes I don’t want to stop after three minutes and continue to meditate peacefully for 15-20 minutes. But even if I do that, I still make sure I sit for the other two 3x3s that day. The daily goal isn’t to meditate for nine or more minutes in total; the goal is to find that inner calm several times throughout the day.
What you get in meditation is access to power that is far beyond the limits of your thinking mind. Some people call it God, or Source Energy, or their Inner Being, or simply higher consciousness. One woman I’ve coached thinks of it as re-charging her batteries several times a day. She pictures a power cord extending from her heart that she can plug into an invisible outlet above her body. If the cord is not securely plugged in, or has fallen out completely, she loses her sense of centeredness, of peace and connection.
That’s when she finds herself looking for ways to access power outside herself (trying plug her power cord into food or alcohol or other people), even though there’s only one true outlet her power cord was designed for.
The same thing happens to me sometimes. When I’m disconnected, it shows up in many small ways. Sometimes I find myself mentally putting others down in subtle ways that make me feel better about myself. I’ve found myself becoming needy with guys I’ve dated, and more irritable if little things go wrong. When I attempt to recharge my batteries by trying to get people to do what I think I need them to do, or treat me the way I want them to, what I’m really doing is trying to plug my power cord into different people or situations and demanding that they be the source of energy that recharges my batteries.
But nothing outside of my innermost essence (or God or Source Energy) was designed to supply me with the power that I need, and so it never works. When I find myself doing this, I try to catch myself and see the impulse for what it is: simply a symptom that my batteries are low and I need to plug in to the only source that can give me power. And I do that in my 3×3 meditations.
There are a few different ways that I structure my 3x3s:
1. Many times I will do nothing more than sit quietly with my eyes closed and count how many times my heart beats during the three minutes. When I first started meditating, I tried counting how many breaths I took but kept getting distracted—maybe because there was so much time between breaths that my mind had a chance to wander. For whatever reason, putting a hand over my chest to feel and count my heartbeats with my eyes closed keeps me completely focused. Even if my thoughts are negative or overwhelming before I sit down to meditate, distracting myself with this little task always gives me relief.
2. It also helps for me to have a mantra or some words I can repeat over and over to give my crazy mind something to put its focus on. My favorite mantra that I use when I’m feeling overwhelmed, anxious or paralyzed with fear is: “I’m open. I’m willing. Show me. Guide me from within.” This mantra puts space around whatever thoughts are choking me and creates an opening inside of me for willingness, letting go and a bit of peace. You can choose whatever words suit you. Other examples are:
a. “I know there is another way to approach this. Just because I can’t see it right now doesn’t mean it’s not there. I am open to the possibility of a new idea, a new way of doing this.”
b. “There is space inside me for new ideas to flow in and to show themselves. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t need to. I’m open to new ideas.”
It doesn’t matter if you are praying these words to God or simply putting forth your intention to try to clear a path to access the inner intuitive voice. Either way, it works for me and it has worked for others who have very different ideas of God than I do.
3. I also use my 3×3 in preparation for conversations with other people or to get ready to do tasks I really dread, or to change anything in my life that is not going the way I would like. In these situations I use visualization to address the situation as it is and make peace with it or replace it with a more ideal situation.
In every 3×3 my fundamental intention is to connect with my intuition. I am being alert to the inner voice, or nudge, of guidance that can come only in the silence. This is the source of all transformation, and the first step to the solution to all problems, in my experience. Thus, many of the other games rely on this fundamental 3×3 practice.
Once you’re comfortable in your 3×3 and you can feel yourself shift into a more mellow, focused state during your meditations, try to tap back into that state at different times throughout your day. Just for a couple of minutes here and there. I first tried it during my pre-meeting conversations with new friends at the recovery center. The conversations were usually less than five minutes long, and they were a pleasant thing for me to do, so it was relatively easy to be in that state at the same time. Maintaining that state of inner calm while interacting with others or doing another activity is the next step after being able to find that space within during the 3×3.
I can also access this inner space very successfully while taking walks. I used to think walks were boring and pointless. I’m already here at home, I used to think, why would I leave and walk around the block just to come right back here again? But the point is the walk itself, not where you’re going. Even a five- or ten-minute mindful walk around the block can shift your mood.
The whole point is to be able to be as peaceful and non-resistant in your real life as you are in meditation, by trying it a few minutes at a time.
3 X 3 is great advice for anyone chanting the affirmation of “I have no time.” It also seems that this will lead to ‘walking meditations’ which I live by. For the past two years I have consciously begun and ended each day with meditation. I am living proof that this practice leads to perfection and to manifestation abilities that continue to boarder on often miraculous results. Thanks for sharing this Dina. Your life history is a mirror in many ways, and I applaud you for your courage in using that to fuel the positive journey. Much love to you.