Welcome to the ongoing column series, Living A Radically Engaged Life™. It’s time to more fully live our precious lives with meaning and intention. To bring out our best and learn ways to sustain this level of our best-self. It requires engagement . . . Radical engagement in our own life. In this issue we gain clarity on where our happiness is depleted in our life. Through awareness we can take effective action to course correct and grow to experiencing joy. Let’s dive right in.
Recently a childhood friend messaged me. She shared that she had been following me on social media and really loved my work and message. She shared intimate life challenges that brought me to tears to think of her having endured such experiences through her life. She said to me that she loved watching me live life and marveled at how I navigate challenges with seeming ease and that enjoyed seeing me in love. She went on to tell me that she too desired to live Radically Engaged, yet with all the crisis, trauma and challenges she was far from it. She said that she felt Radically Engaged Living™ was just too far out of her reach. This is when I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. All the air in my lungs came rushing out in one quick and devastating blow.
While my life may seem to be wonderful, fabulous and inspired. It is because I have tools and techniques that support me in navigating the everyday issues and challenges of just being alive. Yes, just being alive puts you right smack in front of the challenges that we call LIFE.
Life isn’t always easy. It isn’t always sweet and filled with connection and support. Often life feels lonely and scary and overwhelming. I’m not interested in convincing you that there is a way to live that is free from any challenge or conflict, rather I’m here to share with you ways that you can navigate these rough waters and even enjoy the ride!
Here is what I want you to know. You are never far away from connecting to your happiness. Your happiness is directly affected by how engaged you are willing to be in your life. Yes! Your life.
Sometimes life changes quickly and in a way that is harsh. When a life event happens that is unplanned or far from what you expect your life to be like it is common to disconnect in order to distance from the pain and suffering that this unplanned event caused you to feel.
We have a choice to stay connected, to feel the discomfort and move into the transition of your life.
The Settler. Are you a Settler? It happens before we realize that we have allowed ourselves to slowly let the sweet happiness of life slip away. Life becomes routine and a sense of living on autopilot takes over the moments in our day more and more. This kind of living creates a comfort and yet it also starts to numb our senses. I mean life isn’t “bad” and we have so much to be thankful for . . . so much MORE than most people. It happens slowly and soon the feeling of safety, certainty and stability have become our new normal. There isn’t much adventure or mystery, very little change. It’s what we thought we were working toward and yet within these comfortable walls of our life we feel something sweet is missing. Something that makes us feel alive.
Our desires become fewer and fewer. In fact we rarely if ever ask ourselves what we “really desire”. Often what stops us from really digging deeper into what we truly desire is this feeling that we “should really be more grateful because other people have it so much worse”. This is a settling of the most tricky nature. Someone else’s suffering is no license to stop desiring a higher quality life for yourself.
The Soother. We have all been here. Life throws us a crisis or we experience drama in our relationship, health, finances or career. The pain and discomfort are enough that we seek help. We hire a therapist, go to that workshop, buy a book on the topic. We gain information and we are certain to make the changes we learn about. Then life gets in the way and before you know it we are back into the autopilot of life’s everyday routine. Until BOOM! Something happens again throwing us into crisis or drama and the cycle begins again.
I call this way of living a Soother. Gain just enough information to “sooth” the pain, however really don’t learn and certainly don’t incorporate the changes into their life.
We all have crisis and experience drama. However when things are good and we stop taking action to improve we fall into the category of “soother”. Please stop this cycle because as a soother, you my friend will never enjoy the life that is awaiting you.
A rising tide lifts all boats! It’s true! The most honorable thing you can do to ease the suffering of the world is to work on your own life, connect to your own desires and make them happen! YOU my beautiful friend are the RISING TIDE. By you being the best-version-of-self you lift others to new heights.
This is profound. Please re-read that last statement. When we are feeling like this world and our country and our family or our business are out of our control . . . spiraling downward . . .remember that you are the rising tide. YOU!
How to re-engage in your beautiful life. Learn how to re-engage more deeply into each area of your life first by gaining a better understanding of where you really are right now. Using the Radically Engaged Wheel of Life you can assess where you are right now. Our lives are not lived in section, although many of us wish it were that easy. Instead the areas of our life intermix and mingle with each other often creating a confusion about what really is costing us our happiness. I have found that by creating categories it is much easier to really assess how each area is working for you in your life. How happy are you with each area – right now. That is the key. We are only assessing “right now”. I invite you to assess where you are by accepting my gift of this powerful worksheet and audio guide. These supportive resources will help you identify what really needs your attention and how to take action.
Keep it simple! When making new changes I find that it is human nature to want to shake it all up. When we do it is very challenging to really make and maintain the changes. Instead start with just those areas that by making an improvement will make the most benefit to raising the overall foundation of how you operate your life. Think about your happiness being your baseline . . . the foundation in which you are building your life upon. For example if in doing the assessment you find that your Health / Body area are the lowest rated category then setting simple and attainable goals to improve this area will uplevel your level of happiness in this area. By doing that you will be raising the baseline. When you raise the baseline you have just up-leveled your entire life!
Keep life fresh. Variety is the spice of life! Another way to think of incorporating variety is to think about just how regimented and stale we actually get in our life routine. We drive the same way to the grocery . . . to work and home again. Mix it up. Try new foods, new brands, new recipes. Explore new grocery stores, listen to new music, change your daily routines. If you “always” have two lumps in your coffee . . . well, try it black!
Life is meant to be explored, savored and enjoyed and yet nobody can do this for you. It requires you deciding to make a change, to engage in your life in new and adventurous ways. The outcome? Well, I would love to hear what you discover about yourself and your beautiful life. Wake it up! And let me know just how much you discover about the new, unexplored and deliciousness of your life. Until next time.
XO,
Marianne
