Does this sound familiar? You tell your friend that you want to lose weight this time, once and for all, and the next thing you know you are sitting at a cafe sharing a piece of cake.
“Oh, one time isn’t going to make a difference,” she says. As soon as you get home you feel terrible knowing you just broke a promise to yourself. That just feels crummy!
Your friend just might be … a food frenemy.
Food and eating are wrapped up into our friendships – we bond over meals, chat over dessert, and create memories over our food experiences. And, because that bond is so strong, your friends may want your food relationship to stay exactly as it is, particularly if you are “food buddies,” meaning that much of what you do together involves food. Your “food buddies” may fear you changing when you become more conscious of how food affects your body, your energy, and your overall health. They may question, “Will she leave me behind?”
The thing is, it doesn’t have to be that way!
Learn to identify your food frenemies and what you can do to stay on track with your goals.
4 Ways Your Friends Might Influence What You Eat
The Underminers — Be on the lookout for a friend who seems to be so supportive, but simultaneously provides temptation and encouragement to get you off-track. “Wow, you’re being so good — you’re eating well and working out. You so deserve to go out for ice cream.” Suddenly, you’re eating ice cream with your friend, wondering, “Why am I eating this?”
What to do: Be on the lookout for the underminer. If they try to lead you astray, you might say something like, “Thank you so much! I’d rather celebrate by getting a manicure.” Or, grab a bottle of water and go for a walk!
The Quitters — This friend sees you struggling, and rather helping you, she says, “This seems so hard. Are you sure it’s worth all this trouble?” You start to doubt yourself and abandon your healthy goals.
What to do: Beware of the friend who stirs up doubt that you can accomplish your goals. You might try getting your friend to join you. “It would be easier if we did it together! Do you want to go to a yoga class? We can make it fun!” If she declines, stick to your plan.
The Spotlighters — We all know them — the friend that likes to be the center of attention at all times. She does not want your success to detract from her attention. She wants everything to stay exactly as it is, with her in the spotlight.
What to do: Oh, those attention grabbers. Sometimes it’s just easier to steer clear of friends who do not have your best interest at heart. Stick with people who support you and understand the importance of what you are accomplishing.
The Accomplices — These are our beloved food buddies. You know, the friend or friends that you ate junk food treats with as a form of entertainment. You made brownies together and ate them watching your favorite movie on the sofa. She may try to lure you back in, afraid that she might lose you if you no longer share food.
What to do: Find new rituals to share and guide your friend along that path. “I would love to hang out! Instead of going to the cupcake shop let’s go for a walk and make a Snapchat story.”
And one more note … my mom used to say all the time, “Birds of a feather flock together.”
It ends up she was right! Research shows that we emulate the people with whom we hang out. So, if you hang out with a group of people who are always eating and don’t care about nutrition, you will do the same. The converse is also true: If you hang out with a group of people that are into fitness and care about healthy eating, you will too. Just a little food for thought!
Wow ~ it wasn’t until my husband and I made some drastic dietary changes that we realized how much socializing revolves around food… and it’s not usually the kind we choose for our health. It poses some interesting challenges, for sure. Thanks for this post.
My friends & I always get together for dinner. Yet, we always complain about the weight we’ve gained. So for our next monthly gathering, I suggested we meet at a walking trail instead! 🙂