Change can be fickle, can’t it? Sometimes it comes barging in and you have no choice but to grow, and other times it’s elusive. One thing holds true either way; good change brings you closer to your Truth, which for me, is the name of the game.
Creating a life-change that takes you further into your Truth, takes some hustle; let’s not beat around the bush here! I’m not talking about struggle, but effort… the kind of effort that says you mean it.
Effort, however, can be soft, insightful and relaxed. Effort here is really more about intention.
The process of change can actually be beautifully messy and expanding all at the same time. There is a balance, though, between the inner work and the outer work needed to make that happen. In fact, it’s a trio of energies: recognizing your Truth, owning it, and then living it.
So let’s talk about these 3 steps to finding your Truth, and putting yourself out there.
1. Inner Work
We go within to find our Truth. And for those of us who have been wounded around our Truth, and who don’t feel we can live that, or are worthy of that, or can’t speak that, this inner exploration is so validating.
We say, “Yes! This is the ‘me’ I know,” and we feel healed in that moment.
Inner work – heart work – is so extraordinary. You do need to see your Truth through your own eyes. You need to feel that energy and be in awe of your Self and your awareness. And you get to that through things like meditation, journaling, art, creative process, and the like.
Your inner work and what your heart wants can be a riveting inner exploration which can be enchanting… as it should be!
I believe inner work needs to be magical. It needs to hold an energy to it that can break through the veil of what you aren’t allowing yourself to recognize. When inner work can take you beyond what you believe to be true, it heals your heart in the process.
But there is a next step to your transformation that you may be missing; the harder part – the outer work which includes standing in the power of who you are, and taking new action from this awareness without getting smacked back down by your core wound.
Simply creating a new level of awareness doesn’t really create a change.
It took me a long time to understand that all the inner work I was doing wasn’t really doing much when it came to me getting out there, and doing something new.
Most of my life I’ve been one to go within; to process, and internalize my experience as a means to understand myself and the world.
I’ve over processed and have gotten stuck there. And by that I mean I’ve spent too much time looking for answers – even meaning – by turning inward. I believed that my internal experience could show me something new.
But, you know that old saying, “You can’t create new ideas out of nothing?” Well, that applies here; not to say any of us are nothing… but we need new ideas and experiences, to feed new ideas and experiences.
2. Radical Responsibility
In comes this idea of radical responsibility, which is a powerful response to awareness… and the inner work that informs you that your potential is way greater than what you have been living; where your heart shows you where the glitch is.
It’s here when you figure out that if you want something to change, it’s not going to happen until you finally do something new.
I totally embrace this; yet in practice, it is crazy challenging.
If something isn’t right in your world, it’s your job to notice it, understand what’s out of alignment, and focus your efforts on healing and transforming. And you don’t stop until you begin to see something new in your experience.
This doesn’t mean you do it alone; in fact, I think being radically responsible is about seeking out help to offer up that new insight you need… the missing pieces, the modeling, and the accountability. Because change at this level takes a village!
Radical responsibility is a very action-oriented process. It’s all about awareness and taking a step in a new direction. It feels like the other end of the continuum from inner work; but at this stage of the process, you’ll do more inner work that you can imagine when you turn your attention to questions like:
• What do I need to do, to be the person I know I am?
• Who do I need to be, to live my Truth?
• What change must I make here?
Yep, no fooling around here, right?
It’s not all intensity, though, because without staying connected into your heart, your energy, and your inner wisdom, you lose your compass. All the “doing” that happens when you step up into radical responsibility must be aligned… to your heart and to your Spirit.
3. Acting Out
Taking action around your Truth, when your Truth has been squashed, invalidated, harmed and unseen can indeed feel like acting out. Stepping up and putting yourself first might leave you feeling bad, selfish and downright scared.
But you must.
Your “acting out” phase is where you get to transform what was into what is; where you get to stretch into something new and create some space for yourself.
There will be trial and error here.
The minute you take your new awareness out into the world by means of you taking new action, you run the risk of hitting a wall; your core wounding is easily triggered. And when it is, the natural reaction is to retreat back into yourself, maybe more confused by the incongruence you are experiencing.
Old stories then surface, trying to convince you that you can’t have what you know to be your Truth. Shame and any myriad of other not so yummy feelings do their best to hijack you. And when that happens, if you are like most of the people I work with, you’ll dive back into your inner experience to find answers, meaning and yourself; to feel validated once again.
It’s that moment when magic truly can happen if you keep all three of these steps in mind.
Go within; re-find yourself. But then pull yourself back up into action and even a little acting out!
Keep at this. It’s a practice, a lifestyle really. Each step will take you closer to your breakthrough.
But, know this for sure: every day that you can find your Truth and put yourself out there, is a good day.
