Have you ever wondered what’s the best and fastest way to ground a new habit?
It begins with acknowledging and embracing our mistakes.
Let’s face it, sooner or later, each of us makes mistakes. We make them in life, in work and in performing!
I was reading an article earlier today in which the author stated, “the fear of failure is directly proportional to the level of talent”, in her students. I found this very interesting and after thinking about it for a few minutes, I realized I agree.
Over my years as a voice coach, it’s been the most talented students and clients who consistently second guessed themselves. They will repeatedly stop cold in the middle of a song, or talk run through, because they know something is off. It has been the same in my corporate life. The most competent and successful business development officers I’ve worked with, the ones who repeatedly close those win-win deals, are also the most doubtful as to their performance and anxious about making goal.
A mistake can’t be fixed if it’s unknown to the performer/employee/business owner. The psychologist, Noel Burch, called this “unconscious incompetence”. In other words, you don’t know what you don’t know.
The plus of knowing something is off is a gift called self-awareness, and it is key to personal growth in any arena.
Best of all, having self-awareness can enhance other areas of your life in pleasantly unexpected ways. So, whether you’re working on singing, starting a business, selling bank products, learning new technology, giving a talk or mastering your golf swing, your self-awareness expands your personal growth in many directions simultaneously.
Stilted practice, on the other hand, results in faulty muscle memory and a lack of mental connectivity. In fancy tech talk we call this, “reinforcing an incorrect neuro-muscular pattern”. The body can’t link muscle memory through disjointed action. More importantly, the brain can’t connect the starting point to the desired end result.
Here’s an example from my own past…
I was nervous when I went for my first college audition. I’d been having trouble with one of the songs I’d prepared. There was one spot in the middle that got me every time! Each time I missed it, I’d stop the rehearsal. I wasn’t able to correct the issue by audition time, so I went ahead with what I had prepared, praying I’d make it through, and guess what, I did!
I sang that really difficult part perfectly! I’m sure by now you can guess what happened next. I totally blanked out on the rest of the song! Why? Because my stilted practice had stopped my brain and body from making the connection between those two sections of the song!
You see, muscle memory and mental connectivity are what carry a performer, seasoned teacher or experienced leader, through tasks successfully when we’re tired, stressed out, distracted, or an unexpected case of nerves kicks in.
A vital part of successfully acquiring any new skill is self-monitoring. So, if you’re having trouble with your golf swing, raise your awareness of body mechanics and swing through.
Ask yourself these questions when practicing your new activity:
Why is what I’m doing not working?
What did it “feel” like when I did it wrong?
How does it “feel” when I do it right?
What’s the difference between the two?
How can I change this?
Grounding a new habit means you need to “feel” the difference between where you are now and where you want to be. This takes time and attention.
Today, we frequently see the finished product but not the work that went into developing that product, be it a physical product you are launching, a website, or some other dream you have hidden deep inside. Please don’t stop learning because of embarrassment or frustration, you could be on the verge of a breakthrough moment.
I urge you to change your perspective. Take a deep breath and reframe your thoughts.
“Mistakes are the guideposts to success!”
Let this be your mantra. Recognize your current limitations and push back with increased self-awareness. It will change your outcome and can change your life.
It changed mine.
Wishing you great success!
