An ageless goddess rejects ageism and owns her beauty. One way you can do that is to acknowledge it through affirmations or a Divine Beloved Change Me prayer, such as “Divine Beloved, change me into someone who sees, appreciates, and cultivates my own beauty.”
Another way to own your beauty is to adorn it in your own personal style. Don’t think of clothes as “fixing” a “figure flaw” but as flattering you and bringing out your natural beauty. Spend money on clothes that make you feel beautiful. How a jacket or dress is cut can make a huge difference in how you feel in an outfit. A friend of mine jokes that at 50 she dresses pretty much the same as she did in the second grade: turtleneck or simple long- or short-sleeve shirt or sweater, jeans or trousers, and flat black shoes. The look works for her and she is happy sticking to it. But now she’s meticulous about choosing the cut, color, and style of every item in that simple list. She can spot in an instant whether an item is even worthy of trying on her Aphrodite body. And she feels great and is often complimented on her looks and style. Where she sometimes gets daring is with jewelry and lipstick. She says, “I take chances with accessories or makeup when I feel like it, not because I’m trying to please other people and be trendy and fashionable. When I was younger, my look said, ‘I can fit in and be anything you need me to be.’ Now my look is classic me.” She doesn’t worry about whether her look is trendy, or “too young,” “too old,” “too conservative,” or “too” anything else.
As Shirley MacLaine has said, “I don’t think you go out of style when you’re living in the present most of the time.” Don’t be embarrassed about developing a style that’s right for you right now—and asking someone to help you if that’s what you need. Agelessness means being daring and courageous, so take some chances. I know this can be hard to do because we live in a shaming culture, but don’t give in to other people’s limited ideas about how you should dress or style your hair. If you want to keep your hair long, go for it. If you want to dye it purple, don’t let anyone stop you. If you’re a bold lipstick kind of woman, choose a shade that can be seen across a room. Do you love stilettos? Find yourself a pair that’s five inches high, and develop the muscles in your feet and ankles so that you can wear them proudly and skillfully—at least for an hour or so. And if you want to get your eyes done or have a facelift, go for that too. That is how an ageless goddess owns her beauty—no shaming, no apologies.
And if you don’t know who you are in terms of your personal style, use adornment to help you figure it out. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and see how it feels to own a new way of doing your makeup (or going without), a new way of dressing (or merely tweaking the way you have always dressed), or a new way of styling your hair.
Is your appearance highly valued in your line of business? If so, I encourage you to invest in hiring a personal stylist. A good one will help you own your beauty rather than try to pressure you to dress a certain way because “everyone’s wearing this now.” It’s completely worth the money to find clothing that works for you and makes you feel beautiful and confident. Some women just have the gift of personal style, but for those of us who don’t, a hired advisor—or a good friend who has the gift—is a marvelous thing. When you work in the public eye, it’s especially important to let go of any fear of asking for help in this area. That said, if someone tells you that you shouldn’t wear something, but it feels right when you put it on and you like how it looks, don’t take her advice.
Do you have self-nurturing beauty rituals? I don’t wear a lot of makeup on a typical day, but I do get a blowout at a salon every Friday. It’s a beauty ritual that says, “Bring on the weekend!” and makes me feel like a goddess. I mentioned the benefits of massage earlier, and it can be a marvelous beauty ritual too. So can facials, manicures, and pedicures. If you don’t have a lot of money, do it yourself at home or with your daughters, granddaughters, or girlfriends. Go to a spa or a beauty school. I like the new Shellac manicures done with UV light that last for a couple of weeks. Something as small as having lovely nails, or glowing skin after a facial, can boost your confidence too. It can be fun to choose outrageous colors or match them to an outfit that flatters you. If you don’t want color, you can get a manicure and get clear polish or no nail polish at all, and enjoy the sensation of warm paraffin on your hands and a hand massage.
© 2015. Reprinted with permission. Goddesses Never Age by Christiane Northrup, MD. Hay House. February 2015. www.HayHouse.com
