Being grateful is about having the capacity to notice, feel and look for the evidence of the blessings — the good stuff happening in your life. If you begin your day this way and practice being grateful as a way of life in your relationships with your family and friends, your work and co-workers, and your material life, you may find this to be one of the most uplifting things you can do for your spirit, health and well being. A positive person starts, first, with the deep desire to be that and strives towards being content with life in any given situation. What may begin with the seed of intention as a mere thought of kindness and appreciation, can grow with a snowball effect into a well-established and flourishing attitude of gratitude that becomes a way of life. You can infuse each day with good feelings and place a positive spin on just about anything when you spend more time noticing what’s going right, as a habit, instead of what’s wrong.
This is not to say that when you face a major disappointment, or you have a financial problem or setback, or you are going through loss or conflict of any kind, that you shove it under the rug and place a superficial smile on your face repressing the truth. We go through stuff and no one feels happy all the time—especially during challenging times. However, when you place most of your attention, most of the time, on those things that are going well, then it can really help you bounce back with greater resiliency when things are not going so well. The distance between where you are and where you want to be is shorter because you bounce instead of dwell in lowland too long. Our resiliency is, after all, not tested when things are going our way; it’s pretty easy when bad things happen to get sucked under the current of life’s big transitions and become mired in negativity and stuck in our “story” of what happened rather than being completely present to our life as it is right now.
Within 48 hours of the devastating news that my beloved, Richard Carlson, acclaimed author of the Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff book series, had died without warning from a pulmonary embolism while traveling to New York, I sat down on the hearth of my fireplace, in the stillness of the morning, and had a serious talk with myself. I could see clearly what my options were and that there was a choice to be made. I said: “Kris, this is going to go one of two ways for you. Option One looks like this: You are in bed and you pull the covers over your head and you disappear from life and drown in your sorrow. Or, option two: You remember to count all the incredible blessings that you’ve enjoyed along with the great life of love you’ve had, and you stand tall, as a warrior, accepting this tragedy knowing that this horrible thing must count for something big. This is part of your graduate school soul work curriculum.”
Living in awareness of your blessings, with gratitude, as a life practice and strategy has a far-reaching effect in your consciousness and your ability to transcend difficult circumstances and transition into new beginnings. I’m not sure that I could have made that choice to be victorious, facing such devastating news, without accessing the wisdom that came through the portal of my gratitude practice of twenty years. My positive interpretation and awareness of all the amazing blessings of my life held me accountable and gave me strength to play the hand I was dealt and the cards I wasn’t happy to receive, without becoming a victim to my loss. Having this mindset also gave me hope that I would return to a time where my future would hold the good life I knew so well even though it would mean embracing change. “The circumstances of life don’t make or break you, Richard said. How you move through those less than ideal times of struggle reveals who you really are.”
Treasure the gifts of life you have in this moment, and no matter what—count your blessings.
