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Don’t let unrealistic expectations set you up for a similar scenario. I understand how much we may want love or success, how we may ignore the red flags that are evident from the start of a relationship or a passion project. So stay clear and strong. Train yourself to see people and situations accurately.
Your biology is an invaluable ally in helping you boost your immune response. Understanding how to tap into its miraculous functions lets you create an environment for empathy to flourish. Mindfully listening to your body is a way to show kindness toward yourself, others, and the greater world.
Your goal is to become less triggered with time. Why? Because being triggered is exhausting and painful and puts a wedge between you and empathy for yourself and others. You become so preoccupied with managing your hurt feelings that it may not occur to you to empathize with yourself or even those people who have insecurities that manifest as putting others down or making them wrong. When you honor your true worth, you won’t be as reactive.
One of the biggest blocks to empathy is a fear of being vulnerable and then overwhelmed. Judith Orloff, MD shares boundary setting strategies and other tips to support you in staying out of empathy overwhelm.
As a psychiatrist my job is to read people, not just what they say, but who they are. Interpreting verbal and nonverbal cues, I want to see past their masks into the real person. Logic alone won’t tell you the whole story about anybody. You must surrender to other vital forms of information so that you can learn to read the important non-verbal intuitive cues that people give off. To do this, you must also be willing to surrender any preconceptions, or emotional baggage such as old resentments or ego-clashes, that stop you from seeing someone clearly. The key is to remain objective and receive information neutrally without distorting it.
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