Obstacles and problems are a part of life none of us will avoid. It doesn’t matter how much money you have or don’t have; each of us will have our opportunities, both small and large, to face the fork in the road when given a life challenge.
The choice is not always what happens to us but how to proceed forward. We all get our wake-up calls, but your choice is to allow this circumstance to reveal an opening for growth or for you to shut down emotionally, losing sight, and existing in a state of bitterness. When faced with adversity, you can decide to use this obstacle as the opportunity of your life to awaken and open your heart so that you can learn and grow and do your soul-work. As you learn and grow, you move forward on your journey, with greater compassion and able to embrace humanity with a new level of understanding and a greater expression of love.
Problems often carry with them the seeds of personal growth and empowerment. There are numerous gifts and small treasures to be found as you face a seemingly insurmountable life challenge. No matter how overwhelming a problem may seem, climb these mountains one step at a time, slow and steady, and you will suddenly reach the top with a new understanding of your own innate strength to overcome.
Knowing this in advance will then transform your relationship to both small problems and life changing ones. You will see each problem as a possibility and opportunity for greater awakening and a seed of new growth. Problems and suffering are not to be feared for each of has within us a well of wisdom to fill our cup and comfort and guide us back on the path of love to healing.
In Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, Richard reflects on the nature of problems by saying: “Certainly some problems need to be solved while others are problems we make for ourselves by struggling to make our life different than it actually is. Inner peace is accomplished by understanding and accepting the inevitable contradictions in life—pain and pleasure, success and failure, joy and sorrow, births and deaths. Problems can teach us to be gracious, humble, and patient.”
In the Buddhist tradition, difficulties are considered so important to a life of growth and peace that a Tibetan prayer actually asks for them. This sacred prayer states, “Grant that I may be given appropriate difficulties and sufferings on this journey so that my heart may be truly awakened and my practice of liberation and universal compassion may be truly fulfilled.”
As my own journey has unfolded, I have come to realize that my deepest wake-up call happened upon Richard’s death. There were smaller awakenings for me along the way, for sure, but this event rocked me to my core, as I died a death with Richard. A spiritual death requires the annihilation of the ego and certainly my ego, all tied up in a wonderful marriage and partnership, was completely shattered upon Richard’s passing. When the ego is low, our authentic nature (who we really are) shines through, and suffering can break down the barriers of ego like no other force.
It is in this suffering that our true nature is allowed to be most present. Embracing ‘what is’ and surrendering to the process of healing brings each of us back to joy as our awakened heart, broken-open, expands to hold more love and compassion. The great gift is that we can then experience life at a deeper level—living and loving with an open heart. We can feel our lives in this awakened state and renew our passion in a newly found state of gratitude.
The beauty of life is that we get lots of small problems to practice surrendering, trusting, and accepting obstacles as a part of life that are innate to growth. Change what you can in this world, without holding on too tightly in a contraction of resistance. Accept those things you cannot change, and move forward with presence and grace knowing that all will eventually return to love and peace and all problems will resolve themselves. In this way, we can live life as more of a dance and less of a battle. Dance on!
REAL Beautiful insight Kristine! Thank you.
Kristine, I Love this, as I am going through a life and career transformation this article was written on time. I thank you for all that you.