When it came to seeking my life partner, I was determined to do it the right way. I read all the evolved relationship books including Calling in the One by Katherine Woodward Thomas and Daphne Rose Kingma’s Finding True Love. I worked on my spiritual self incessantly. I took a smart, mature, enlightened approach to my love life. Or, so I thought. I had absolutely no clue that my insatiable hunger for love actually blocked me from receiving it. I was an expert at resisting the very thing I wanted most. But, I couldn’t see it.
As a recovering love addict and a woman who has searched for perfect love for over three decades, I’ve made a mountain of mistakes and in the process, learned a LOT about how attracting real love works.
I’ve boiled down my hardest lessons learned in these 7 Surprising Ways You May Be Pushing Love Away
1. Are You Focusing Too Much on What’s Missing In Your Life?
2. Do You Love Yourself Half-Heartedly?
3. Are You Expecting A Relationship to Make You Feel Lovable?
4. Do You Struggle with Receiving Love?
5. Is Your Desire for Love Overpowering?
6. Are You Overlooking the Love You Already Have in Your Life?
7. What About Giving Love: Are You a Hoarder?
Are You Focusing Too Much on What’s Missing In Your Life?
Be honest with yourself. If you closely monitored your thoughts for a week, would you find that the majority of them focused on what you were missing in your love life rather than what you wanted?
When I started to examine my thoughts I was astonished to see that the majority of my precious life energy was being siphoned off by rewinding thoughts of how frustrated and disappointed and desperate and lonely I was. These and other lower energy, life-sucking thoughts, emotions and energy actually resist the very thing you want to manifest. No wonder I struggled so much to find love. I was literally giving it a big fat shove.
• I’ve tried everything to meet someone. Nothing works.
• It’s just too difficult to meet a decent guy. I don’t have the time.
• On-line dating is full of crazies.
• I’m just unlucky in love.
• I’m too old for these games.
• All the good guys are taken already. What chance do I have?
• It’s hopeless, I’ll never meet anyone.
The Law of Attraction: Are You Inviting or Repelling Love?
We all know about the Law of Attraction. It’s even likely you’ve been successful in applying some of the key principles of attracting and manifesting what you most desire. I had a pretty good manifestation track record. After a 17-year agonizing corporate career, I joyfully launched my dream career as an Executive Coach. My coaching firm is now in its 20th year of business. With equally remarkable ease I was able to manifest my childhood dream of living by the sea. I’ve lived in my cottage at Clearwater Beach for over 15 years.
But, when it came to realizing a happy lasting love life, my manifestation magic derailed. I had big-time blind spots. What I didn’t realize was I was inordinately focused on looking at the problem—my lack of a love life. That’s where I vibrated. In a field of negative emotion and scarcity. So I was repelling, rather than inviting love in.
According to the masters of the Law of Attraction, Esther and Jerry Hicks, “The Universe will always give you what you have asked for. The question is, how soon will you allow it? How many things will you use as your excuse to have RESISTANCE that does not allow it? That is the only question. ‘How long am I going to hang on to these habits of thought that don’t let it in?’”
Steps to Allow Love In:
1. Watch Your Thoughts: Monitor your thoughts like a hawk to make sure you’re not unconsciously blocking love by sending the universe messages of scarcity. Doubt, fear, worry, demand, rush, force, hurry up already, are all negative, low-vibration thoughts that convey you can’t have and don’t deserve love. The universe interprets these as lack and shortage and responds in kind, “Let me give you more of want you don’t have.”
Be mindful of the quality and clarity of your thoughts and emotions. Believe me this is an advanced skill. The mind runs and runs amok. Over time, I can attest, I’m getting better at observing and reversing the direction of my thoughts. More and more, when I start on a downward spiral about not having enough clients, money, friends, love, fun, sleep, happy health, you name it, I am able to rescue myself quicker.
2. Elevate Your Energy: Shift to better-feeling emotions by focusing on what you DO want more of: whether it’s love, passion, deep friendship, companionship, fun, laughter, affection, and/or happiness. Replace low-energy thoughts with high-frequency thoughts, images and feelings:
• How does having the perfect partner make you feel?
• How would your day unfold with a loving relationship in your life?
• What experiences do you most look forward to sharing with your new partner?
When I start to sink into a hole, I grab my go-to affirmation sheets and start flooding myself with uplifting, energizing, empowering, I AM affirmations, including:
• I already have enough love in my life and I allow more to flow to and through me
• I am intimately connected to all of the love in the universe
• I am in a loving, compassionate sacred partnership that gives me extraordinary joy
• I am feeling, giving, receiving great love
“Get to a higher-feeling vibration and maintain it throughout the day. When you dip, bungee to a higher feeling vibration,“ counsels Esther Hicks co-author of Co-creating at Its Best: A Conversation Between Master Teachers.
3. Live from the End: The next step is equally life-changing! Imagine what you want in your love life is already here. Dr. Dyer refers to this state as ‘living from the end’. It means that you call the things that do not exist as if they did. One of Dyer’s most influential teachers, Neville, calls this the Law of Assumption. ”If this assumption (ex. I am in a lifetime romantic partnership) is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable.” Dyer continues: “Rest in the assumption that you are ALREADY you want to be, for in that determined assumption you and your Infinite Being are merged in creative unity, and with your Infinite Being (God) all things are possible. God never fails.”
My hope is that this reminder of some of the most powerful laws of the universe will ignite and accelerate your ability to draw the greatest love.
Look for future posts, where I’ll be addressing the six other ways you may be pushing love away.
