I recall what it was like during my corporate career to lie in bed at night with vague feelings of discontent. If I slept at all, I’d wake up at the same time every morning, looking at the clock and thinking “Great, three more hours before I have to get up.” Then in the blink of an eye it was really time to get up and go through the grind all over again.
I tried to have a cheerful attitude about it. I was paid well and had health insurance. I listened to music in my car during the commute, which gave me a rush that lasted for a few moments after I arrived in the parking lot. Coffee also helped.
That rush lasted only so long.
As I approached the door a wave of angst and dread washed over me. Some days I barely settled in before one crisis after another hit me. The work piled on with not enough time or resources to deal with it. No matter how hard I worked, there was always more to do, it needed to be done yesterday, or someone found fault with it. Others seemed to handle the hectic pace at the office quite well. Working intense 12-hour days didn’t seem to faze them. I wondered what was wrong with me.
I tried to find meaning in my work, for my own sake, but that was lacking as well.
So by the end of each day I had nothing left to give – my tank was empty. My attitude started to change. I had a difficult time finding joy in some of the things I used to do. Normally patient, I found myself short tempered. I took days off when I could and even stole an hour to read a book – or go shopping at the nearest mall – but I knew the work would be waiting for me when I got back. I felt trapped and I resented it.
I confided in trusted friends and associates and shared with them the pressure I felt, the stress, the trouble sleeping, and feeling like there was no way out – that I’d somehow ‘lost the plot’ of my life. Some of them empathized with the exhaustion, the frustration, the loss of hope, the burning out.
Eventually I left that work situation for a more human one and I started to heal. However, a few years later, I felt the same exhaustion, frustration, and loss of hope.
But I was my own boss. What was going on?
I took a few months to slow down, sort things out, and really look at what was happening. Soon I realized that I was burning out again because of the same reasons I burned out before. Isn’t that interesting? It’s a great example of how patterns will follow you wherever you go.
Have you ever experienced a time at work when you felt completely drained?
When you began withdrawing from friends, family, and coworkers, activities you once loved?
A time when you knew that if you had one more demand dumped on you, you might just break down?
Moments when you wanted to throw all of your electronic devices into the nearest lake?
Much can be said about the workplace and its policies, and how they’re not kind to employees, especially women. Life in general is demanding for everyone. Work/life balance is a popular topic because, well, it’s elusive in a world of 40+ hour weeks, jammed packed schedules, the 24-hour news cycle and the never-ending social media stream. In the midst of all these, something or someone tries to convince you to do more, be more, have more.
If you can relate, you’re not alone. Burnout results from the stress of overwork and can easily sneak up on any of us. In our society overachievement is often lauded which means the threat of burning out is a persistent possibility. But did you know that certain characteristics of our personality may put us at a higher risk of experiencing burnout?
Here are four personality traits that make you more susceptible to burnout:
Perfectionism. Are you an ambitious, high achiever? Awesome! I am too! Nice to meet you! That’s an admirable trait that can lead to tons of success. But when a healthy desire to chase your dreams turns obsessive it can actually cause performance anxiety and create stress – two precursors of burnout. Instead of perfection, imagine yourself achieving excellence as you define it and give yourself a pat on the back for your effort – you deserve it!
Type A Personality. Type A’s are typically highly competitive, single-minded go-getters. Nothing wrong with that. But the flip side of that tendency can also include self-criticism, and controlling and impatient behavior. So how do you relax and achieve? By keeping your focus on the middle ground. Instead of thinking in strict terms of Type A or Type B you can put your efforts on a type continuum, neither one extreme nor the other. This makes space for a more harmonious and intentional approach to life that’s energizing instead of draining.
Desire to please. You give so much to others, which is sometimes driven by a need to fit in. You spend a lot of time maintaining relationships and making sure you’re accepted by others. This can lead to you conforming to their wishes and desires at the risk of fulfilling your own personal needs, which can lead to resentment. Instead of putting others first, schedule “me time” – work breaks, days off, vacations time, etc. It’s easier to give of yourself when your needs are taken care of first.
Cognitive Dissonance. Have you ever stayed at a job that conflicted with your beliefs, ideals, or values? Then you’ve experienced cognitive dissonance – when what you do doesn’t fit with who you are. It’s stressful to live life out of integrity with what’s important to you. Restoring the balance requires a change in beliefs, a change in situation, or change in both.
I opted to change my situation, but I didn’t change the beliefs or the patterns. So even though I now experience a completely different situation as a solopreneur, I still took the time to reflect on and heal the perfectionist and Type A patterns that have been with me since grade school. I practice living in integrity by prioritizing my needs.
As a result, I feel more peace within myself, I enjoy my life more, and I experience more meaning and purpose. I know I don’t have to strive so hard to prove that I’m enough, because I already am. I wish the same for you.
Because once you become aware of your personal preferences and tendencies you can adjust accordingly to reduce, minimize or eliminate the stress that can lead to burnout, and get on with the business of creating the life you really deserve.
How about you? Is there an aspect to your personality that’s making you more susceptible to burnout? What’s one small personality shift you could make today that could help you avoid a case of burnout?
