What’s my style? That’s a question I hear a lot as women search for ways to express themselves and feel at home in their clothes. How do you know what your style is?
Your authentic style is always a reflection of your heart and soul. It’s not driven by your body shape, height, weight, career or where you live. Manifesting your style goes much deeper than that. When your personal style is fully expressed you feel at home in your wardrobe. But, when this element is missing, you’ll feel a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction when you open your closet.
If you’re feeling out of sorts when you get dressed chances are good that you haven’t fully tapped into your true essence. I call this your inner beauty—that part of you that makes you special—that makes you YOU. When you embrace those unique parts of yourself they positively influence everything in your life including your wardrobe choices.
After helping hundreds of women identify their inner beauty, I can attest to the fact that no two women have exactly the same way of expressing their unique form of inner beauty. So what might your inner beauty look like?
A woman once suggested to me that she didn’t have inner beauty because she wasn’t perky, sweet or delightful. I assured her that although those are wonderful attributes your inner beauty might just as likely be intense, edgy, passionate or indomitable. What doesn’t work is when you try to be sweet when you’re not or edgy when that’s not who you are at your core. When you do that something will always feel off.
Consider Sharon’s outfits. There’s nothing inherently wrong with her ‘before’ outfit. The color is nice. The fit is okay. But it wasn’t feeling right to Sharon. That’s because it didn’t reflect her ‘natural radiance’ or show how ‘deliciously fiery’ she is. But, when she wears her ‘angel’ shirt, as she calls it, she feels like she’s fully embodying both of those parts of herself.
If you have clothing that’s hanging in your closet unworn, one reason could be that, like Sharon’s before outfit, they don’t reflect your authentic self.
I’ve learned this the hard way myself! If I look at clothing in a store and the first words out of my mouth are, ‘This is so fun!’ I put it back. Fun is not one of my inner beauty words. In my heart and soul I’m not fun and when I buy something fun it invariably sits in my closet unworn. I’ll admire it and love how ‘fun’ it is, but I’ll never wear it…because it’s not me and I’ll feel energetically uncomfortable if I do wear it.
How do you determine your inner beauty words?
Start with these 3 steps:
- Make a list of words or phrases that describe you at a deep level. Be sure to keep your choices positive. As women we sometimes have a tendency to focus on what we don’t like about ourselves, so catch yourself when that happens and turn it around or ignore those pesky gremlins. For instance, you might be someone who is engaging, approachable, vibrant, cheerful, elegant, free-spirited, serene or bold. Or perhaps you have quiet strength or are glowing or juicy. Let your mind think back to when you were younger. When you truly get to the heart of your inner beauty words you’ll know it because they will have been at your essence throughout your life.
- Narrow the words/phrases down to your top four. I know it’s hard, but choosing your absolute top contenders is all you need. Make sure they express different parts of your personality. For instance, you might be happy, but you also might be fearless or straightforward.
- Apply these words to your wardrobe. How do you do that? Look at what you’re wearing today. Does it reflect your words? Let’s say you chose passionate as one of your inner beauty words. How can you express that in your clothing choices? There are many ways including color, prints, accessories or the way you combine the pieces of your outfit. So, if you’re wearing a top that is a rich purple or a print that is swirls of delicious colors or you wear a necklace that makes a statement or you add a jacket or cardigan in a gorgeous fabric that beautifully frames your face…these are a few of the many ways you can express passion through your clothing.
Once you have your inner beauty words, keep them handy when you get dressed and shop. One day I was at a store with a client and she was trying something on she had pulled off the rack. I noticed she was looking in the mirror and frowning. I asked her what was on her mind and she looked at me and said, “Why doesn’t this work? It fits, looks great with these pants and I like the way it feels, but something isn’t right.”
I noticed that the top was a lovely fabric that fit her beautifully. It also had bold black and white stripes. When I asked her if it looked ‘delicately vibrant’ (one of her inner beauty words), she laughed and said, “Not at all!” There was her answer. Had it been stripes in a combination of light and medium blues it might have worked, but the boldness and intensity of the black and white was anything but delicately vibrant. She put it back and we kept browsing. Her inner beauty words saved her from buying something that would sit in her closet unworn.
Your dream wardrobe will be always be a reflection of your inner beauty words. It can take some practice, but when you wear something that expresses your true essence you will feel confident, empowered and fully authentic from head to toe.
Photo credit for before & after photo: Theresa Johnson www.johnsonphotography.com
