Am I enough? That is what most every person wants to know at their core.
What is it going to take for you to believe you are enough?
For many years now I have felt like something deep inside of me was screaming to be heard. On most days, I ignored it. It was easy to dismiss my soul’s calling, or so I thought. When my crisis of faith intersected with health issues and a divorce after twenty-five years of marriage, listening to my soul calling became my guiding light on the dark days. That light was my soul, or God spark as I refer to it, crying to be heard.
When I finally began to hear what my soul was trying to tell me, I realized that my past pain and suffering were not in vain. It was a conduit to my soul’s calling here on earth. It was guiding me all along to do what I came here to do in this time and place.
What if that is the case with you as well?
What if your pain is your access point to your purpose? What if your suffering is the conduit to your soul’s calling?
For me, this journey has led me down a road of helping others who believe they are not enough. Depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-hate, and self-neglect may be ruling your life like it did mine. Questions run through most of our minds, like: Are you thin enough yet? Smart enough? Tall? Pretty? Enough money in your bank account? Are you enough to pursue your dream?
Sooner or later it seems we all entertain the idea that we aren’t enough. The problem isn’t that it only happens once or even twice. It can be so ingrained in our psyche that our self-esteem is annihilated. Like cancer, it can spread quickly and dangerously.
Afflicting most everyone in the world at one time or another, a negative self-image affects our energy and our spirit. Quickly, it can conquer every area of our lives. It can take down a person’s whole world. Even entire families and generations. We crave something and look everywhere for it. We become desperate, seeking fulfillment in other people, food, drugs, work, anything and everything, attempting to dull the pain of not enough and never succeeding.
Maybe you’re going through a divorce, or maybe you detest yourself. Been there, done that. Sometimes not believing you’re enough comes out as anger, depression, lack of self-care, fear, feeling worthless, or people-pleasing. I know exactly how you feel, and lived through it to tell tales. Those days when you loathe yourself so much that you can’t get out of bed. Those days when you cry yourself to sleep or can’t look at yourself in the mirror.
Self-esteem is confidence and satisfaction in yourself. It’s also tied to your self-respect. It’s how you think and feel about yourself. Your health, relationships, even your job may be affected by the way you value (or don’t value) yourself. Self-esteem (or lack of it) can affect every area of your life. It can help you hold your head high and feel proud of yourself and what you do, even when things don’t seem to be going well. Self-esteem gives you the courage to try new things and the power to believe in yourself. It’s a measure of how you see yourself and how you feel about your life.
I want to make it clear that having self-esteem isn’t about bragging! A healthy self-esteem is an inner knowledge that you are worthy exactly as you are. You accept and love yourself at this moment—flaws and all!
If self-esteem is a measure of how you see yourself and how you feel about your life, it will make sense to have good self-esteem; we would need to do things for ourselves and our lives that honor the amazing creations that we each are. Essentially, to have a healthy self-esteem, loving ourselves is a must.
Not loving yourself is like watching dominos fall, one right after the other. Choosing not to eat healthily or exercise will send you down the road of challenging health issues. Choosing to allow anger to overcome you will most likely result in hurting others or, if pushed inward, depression and health issues.
Not loving yourself can also present itself in one or more of these ways:
- You get frustrated easily.
- You may have an eating disorder.
- You withdraw socially.
- You have an inability to see yourself squarely or to be fair to yourself.
- You find it hard to accept compliments.
- You neglect yourself.
- You treat other people better than you treat yourself.
- You are reluctant to take on challenges.
- You put yourself at the bottom of your to do list.
- You continually doubt yourself and don’t trust your opinion.
- You expect little out of life for yourself.
Before I go any further let me remind you that YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH!
Women who struggle with self-love find it hard to believe they are ENOUGH. No matter how hard they try or how often they hear it from others, they can’t seem to believe they are good enough. Believe me, I know what this feels like.
Self-love on the other hand is a gentle acceptance, an unconditional sense of support and caring, and a core of compassion for yourself. It is an abiding willingness to meet your needs, allow yourself to feel and think whatever you feel and think, and to see yourself as essentially worthy, good, valuable, and belonging in the world, deserving of happiness. And, most importantly, believing that you are ENOUGH, as you are, at this moment. Self-love is developed early in life, and if childhood experiences damage our sense of self significantly, a lack of self-love can hurt us for a lifetime.
We need to have a healthy self-esteem and practice self-love because it affects every aspect of our lives. It’s essential, because: Without it, we can crumble and not show up for our life.
- It helps us feel good about ourselves.
- It gives us the courage to try new things.
- It helps us honor and respect ourselves, even when we make mistakes.
- It encourages us to make healthy decisions for our minds and bodies.
All this does not mean that a person with good self-esteem discounts others, but instead they value themselves and ensure their feelings or needs are not discounted.
If you can believe in yourself with the little spark of hope that’s left, you can soar into your bravest dream.
You, my beautiful friend, are more than enough.
©2017. Lara Jaye. An excerpt from More Than Enough: Discover Your Limitless Potential and Live Your Bravest Dream. www.LaraJaye.com
