“What are you going to do after you drop Emmie off at college?” I knew it was a loaded question when I asked, but my friend Liz brushed it off with, “I have a tennis class, and I have a lot to catch up on at work.” Two days later she called me back. “I have no idea what I’m going to do!” she confided. I wasn’t surprised, because the drop-off wasn’t just about launching her youngest child into the big, wide world, it was also launching Liz into a big new chapter of her own life. She was entering what I know to be a profound “Season of Change.”
Several years ago, I interviewed women of various ages and asked them for advice about life. Although their circumstances differed, a common theme I noticed was how often women are called upon to reinvent themselves. Like Liz, some women experienced their Season of Change when they became empty-nesters. Others found themselves on shifting ground when embarking on new careers, starting or ending marriages, or moving to different cities or countries. After years of making choices that would support my dreams of motherhood—a job with a flexible schedule, a home in a community with good schools, a circle of friends who were raising their own families—I found myself needing to make peace with a future without children and figuring out a Plan B for the best years of my life.
Initially, the prospect was daunting. How will I fill my time? What do I want to experience? Who might I become? What’s next? Then I was surprised to discover I was feeling excited about the blank slate before me, about the opportunities for reinvention, adventure, and living an intentional life. I also recognized that, before I could design my new plans, I needed to do some research—into me.
I cracked open a crisp new journal and uncapped my favorite writing pen. Over the course of several days, I presented myself with several prompts (see below) and—with no censoring or editing—scribbled down childhood passions, favorite activities, and pie-in-the-sky dreams. After setting my long list aside for a few days, I returned to it with fresh eyes and started circling things that made me feel warm and bubbly inside, things I loved to do along with things I was curious about. I have since allotted time to some of the activities I loved doing as a child, and with a little online research, I have also found clubs, classes, and even how-to videos on YouTube to help me learn about new possibilities.
Exercises for Embracing Your Season of Change
- Write out a long list of things you loved to do when you were a kid. You might recall loving to jump rope, care for and play with family pets, or decorate the sidewalk with colored chalk.
- Look at your to-do and bucket lists. What big goal, project, or dream has been on there forever that you’d love to check off one day?
- Engage your curiosity. Maybe you’ve always been fascinated by the constellations in the sky or learning to speak Greek or mastering the art of making macarons. Maybe you were a math major who always wondered what the big deal was with classic novels. Write this down!
- Skim through the course catalogue for a local college and note anything—everything—that piques your interest. Photography, art history, sign language, oceanography, ballet for beginners?
- If you could be paid to do anything, what would you want to do? Making fine chocolates is a real job. So is training horses, designing elegant gardens, and putting on glamorous parties. Let your imagination run wild with possibilities!
- Ask your close friends and siblings what they see in you. You might hear something like, “You have a gift for investing, and I’ve always thought you’d be really great at helping other people learn how to manage their money.”
- Pay attention to how you feel. If something lights a fire in you, if you get really excited when you think or talk about something, pursue it!
If you are facing a Season of Change, I invite you to embrace this opportunity for reinvention. Here’s your chance to get reacquainted with yourself and strike a new path toward a future that is exciting, fulfilling, and right for you. Follow your curiosity and have fun discovering the next you!
