Last week, my husband Rob and I were in a quandary. Our oldest had a hockey game in Buffalo. We scheduled a date night before we knew of his game. Should we go to the game or keep our commitment to our relationship?
For one of the first times ever, we kept our commitment to us. Have you ever felt that pull between what you think you should do and what you feel in your heart you need to do?
Sometimes, the choice is difficult but following your heart is always a good choice! Cultivating our important relationships is key to our connection and feeling of belonging. Practicing mindfulness is helping me nourish the seeds of the relationships in my life.
“Life is a song – sing it. Life is a game – play it. Life is a challenge – meet it. Life is a dream – realize it. Life is a sacrifice – offer it. Life is love – enjoy it.” -Sai Baba
This quote embodies the essence of mindfulness! I came across it at the perfect time in my mindfulness journey. Life itself isn’t hard, we make it that way through our stories and thoughts. How we act on those thoughts and play out life is what can make it hard! I have witnessed this firsthand personally and professionally.
Our stories and thoughts put us in another time, often in the past. Our actions are created based on that thinking, not what is real right now, in this moment. Our stories are made so believable in our minds, that we don’t take the time to listen to them in present time. We have spent years rehashing our stories and “thinking” they define who we are. Yet they are just stories. We are not our stories and the best news? Stories can be changed! When we don’t take the time to look at our stories from different points of view, we are missing the gift life has to offer. We lack the ability to be where we are, in present time. In other words, we lack mindfulness.
I have been working diligently on practicing mindfulness as well as teaching it to my clients. Mindfulness is the antidote to our internal evils, our stories. When we can practice it fully, we are able to release our fears and worries, and enjoy life as it unfolds to us. We are in the exact present moment. In order for it to work though, it must become a practice, meaning a habit. You can’t do it just when you feel like it and expect to experience all of its greatness. It’s just like exercise!
Before I went on my date, I made a promise to myself to practice mindfulness. I would be present in my surroundings, not thinking about what my boys were up to or what I would eat. I would actively engage in our conversation and enjoy every bite of my dinner. My family eats like race horses so mindful eating is something that I am working on! I love food, from deciding on delicious recipes to try, to preparing the food and of course, eating it! I want to start experiencing the full enjoyment of the whole process. Through awareness of eating, I finished my dinner almost 20 minutes after Rob! I enjoyed every morsel! I tasted every flavor that was on my plate and felt satisfied and happy.
As I engaged in my practice throughout the night, I was absorbing everything in front of me and experiencing life as it happened. I saw tiny, snow covered white lights strung on the patio rail twinkling. I heard kids laughing, the noises from bar, and smelled delicious scents coming from the kitchen. Then, I noticed a group of 5 women out for a girl’s night. They were chatting and laughing and I thought, “wow, these women are really enjoying their evening out!”. But as I witnessed the interaction a little closer, I noticed that each of them was talking and laughing all while staring at their phones, scrolling through posts and tapping away on the keypad.
Insert mindful compassion! Rather than judging as I would have in the past, I focused on the fact that they are like the rest of us, simply caught up in the world as we know it. They are not flawed, they simply don’t understand the beautiful world that opens up when mindfulness becomes a way of life. They are trapped in the should have’s and expectations, doing what comes natural in our “need” for information age.
I realized that I did not take my phone out of my purse the entire evening. Wow, I really did it! I felt light and carefree as we walked hand in hand to our car. It’s been a long time. I am grateful to the world that I am awakening to and for the experiences, like date night, that show me the power of mindfulness. Life is only exciting when you live it!
CHALLENGE:
This blog post won’t change the world BUT together we can make a stand! My challenge for you is to put your phone away. Try it for an hour, a day. Set boundaries and stay true to them. Go back to the days of live conversation and connection. Remember a smile is a connection!
I would love for you to share what you experienced through this challenge. What did you notice? How were you fully awake to the present?
