Living a soul-hearted life isn’t about perfection, flawlessness, or invulnerability. On the contrary, it’s about absolute vulnerability. And embracing our vulnerability moves us from fear to true courage.
Embracing our vulnerabilities connects us to our essence. Connecting with our innermost selves is the catalyst for exposing and releasing the fears that inhibit us from experiencing our authentic selves. At the same time, it infuses our lives with a spiritual depth, bringing us closer to the light at our core.
Unfortunately, our culture teaches us that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. We are programmed to take a pill at the first symptom of pain; numb ourselves with alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, or sex when we feel uncomfortable; or escape through myriad distractions to avoid fear and shame.
We are rarely encouraged to embrace our vulnerabilities, or informed that doing so shows us how powerful we actually are. However, in truth, the more we embrace our vulnerabilities, the more we can move from fear to courage.
Courage comes from the Latin word cor, which means “heart.” Such courage sources deep within our hearts as self-acceptance and embraces our vulnerabilities as strengths not weaknesses. It encourages us to fully engage in every life situation no matter how scared or uncertain we are as an opportunity for our spiritual transformation.
To be courageous is to lead with your heart, and reveal your truth―your inner thoughts, feelings, and experiences―honestly and openly. It dares you to fully express who you are.
When you fully express yourself, you venture into the unknown territory of your own being. Being courageous doesn’t necessarily mean performing feats of external bravery and strength but rather acknowledging our fears, flaws, and imperfections and boldly acting in the face of them. Thus, trusting yourself to let go and embrace your vulnerabilities is one of the most courageous choices you can make.
As I transitioned from 2017 to 2018 these past few weeks, I experienced how leaning into my vulnerabilities moved me from fear to courage. Throughout the holiday season, I watched as my fear-based patterns of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and care-taking surfaced with my family and friends. The anxiety that these patterns triggered wasn’t trying to upset, irritate, or make my life difficult. On the contrary, it was just trying to get my full attention, to make me aware of what patterns I needed to let go of completely. It was time to bless and then release the fears that held me back from embracing my truth, owning my power, and fulfilling my soul’s purpose.
Before I could create my intentions for 2018, I needed to spend time in solitude and reflection. It was important for me to take a deep dive into what I was letting go of in 2017. I know when our light is brightest that is when we see more of the shadowy side of our ego the clearest. So my spiritual truth was right there waiting for me to embrace and bring it close like a long lost friend who I hadn’t seen in a long time.
Ensconced in the safe sanctuary of my favorite burgundy leather chair, I allowed myself to notice the anxiety that was sitting heavy on my heart. Aware that I was holding my breath, I quickly put my hand on my heart and inhaled deeply. In that moment, I wanted to hide under my chair and pretend my friend ‘fear” wasn’t really there.
Sitting with my vulnerability, I immediately became distracted, restless, and extremely uncomfortable. I tried to keep my friend at bay, but she patiently waited for me to be still, listen, and open up to her. Surrendering to my heart, I sat still until my fear rose and burst through its protective layers. As I opened up to these emotional layers, I felt as though my heart had been flayed open. Although I felt shattered into a million shards of glass, I knew I was safe to unravel and release the fear that had debilitated me.
The more I let go, the deeper I released. I incorporated journaling as another tool to facilitate the excavation of my layers of fear. With trust and compassion, I leaned into my deepest vulnerability, the fear that I was not good enough, perfect enough, and most of all not lovable enough, becoming aware that this fear had colored nearly my entire life experience. Most importantly, I had courageously confronted the pain inside myself, released it, and gained awareness of the love that remained at the source of my authentic self.
What I ultimately gleaned from this experience was that we can’t think or feel our way into being courageous. Trusting ourselves and letting go is the ultimate vulnerability, and also the most powerful and inspired action.
Through leaning into my vulnerabilities, I realized that courage is required to follow our soul’s path and to make the inspired choices that align with it. It truly is the road less traveled for it takes courage, consistency, and commitment to follow this divergent journey through the forest of life.
Being vulnerable leads us to loving and accepting ourselves fully. It allows us to become our own heroes, and step into the unknown not as frightened human beings, but as powerful beacons of courage. The heart-based practices of leaning into our vulnerability opens us to our most authentic selves formed of love.
To move from fear to courage, we have to trust ourselves and exhume all that inhibits our full self-expression. We must give ourselves permission to make mistakes, experience disappointments, acknowledge our failures, and create messes. Our greatest mistakes, and our biggest messes, are our best teachers. The process of trusting ourselves, letting go of fear, and embracing our vulnerabilities may not be neat and tidy—but if we do it enough, it will eventually put us in touch with our authentic selves and the power in the universe that is our birthright.
Here are a few heart-centered practices to move you from fear to courage:
- Practice leaning into your vulnerabilities. Spend time alone in quiet reflection, whether meditating, sitting in a garden, looking out a window, or writing in a journal. Notice when you feel uncomfortable, restless, or distractible. These are cues that there are emotions just below the surface of your conscious awareness that need to be released. Sit, walk, or just be compassionately with your pain, just as you would sit with a dear friend who was suffering—until, at last, it surfaces and releases.
- Create an energetic support team consisting of people who love, listen, and encourage you to embrace your vulnerabilities without judging, enabling, or commiserating. Share your vulnerabilities with someone on your energetic team.
- In a safe environment, share an intimate story with someone on your energetic support team, even if you feel shame or hurt. Lean in to any fear or vulnerability that surface.
- Observe your physical or emotional reactions in uncomfortable situations from a more expansive, spiritual perspective to determine what your reactions are telling you, vulnerabilities and any unresolved pain. Identify the types of situations that cause feelings of vulnerability by asking yourself: “What is the energy in my body telling me about myself?” “What person or situation makes me feel vulnerable?” “What is the person or situation showing me about the origin of my underlying pain?” Discuss the sources of the pain that triggered any reactions with a supportive friend or therapist, by journaling, or through self-reflection.
- A useful tool that can help us lean into our vulnerability is a ritual of release. It can include making a picture scrapbook, using old photos in a collage, journaling, or simply lighting a candle. Rituals of release can transform vulnerability into a positive, creative and courageous force.
Vulnerability gives us the courage to love ourselves even when we feel unlovable, to make loving choices for ourselves even when we feel unworthy, and to open ourselves to love even when we are afraid of being hurt. It permits us to participate fully in life without holding back any part of ourselves.
