Many of us have experienced the inner peace and wellbeing that result from being grateful for what we have. We generally feel much better when we choose to focus on gratitude for what we have rather than resentment for what we don’t have. Yet, I have many clients who say that they express gratitude but don’t feel the wonderful benefits of it. Why is this? The reason is that there are two different intentions from which we can express gratitude.
Gratitude With the Intent to Express Our Love
Gratitude that is expressed from an open and full heart not only brings us great inner peace and joy, it also improves our health and relationships.
When I’m fully aware in this present moment, I become conscious of the wonder of life. Right now, in this moment, I am grateful for my eyes that see, for my ears that hear, for my arms and hands and my ability in this moment to write on my computer, for my legs and feet, for the comfort and warmth of my home, for the nourishing food I eat, for the health of my body, for the clothes I wear, for the sounds of the people in the other room who care about me, for the beauty of nature outside my window – the blue of the sky, the green of the trees. I’m grateful for the warmth and brightness of the sun, for the softness and sweetness of my dogs and for the beauty, strength and love of my horses. I’m very grateful for my children and grandchildren – for their health and wellbeing and the love we share together.
I’m reminded of this quote by author Melanie Beattie:
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
I’m amazed by this quote, as I know that Melanie lost her beloved 12-year old son in a tragic skiing accident. I can think of no greater loss than that of a beloved child, yet here she is helping others to embrace the fullness of life through gratitude. It is gratitude that gave life and purpose back to her after her terrible loss.
Gratitude With the Intent to Control
Unfortunately, many people have learned to express gratitude as a way of trying to get what they want. For example, The Law of Attraction teaches us to express gratitude for what we have and for what we want. Expressing gratitude with an agenda does not come from an open heart. When we have an agenda attached to our expression of gratitude – such as getting in God’s good graces or manifesting what we want – our intent is to control.
When our intent is to control, we are not open hearted and present in the moment. We are focused elsewhere – on achieving our agenda. We have attached our happiness to the future – to getting what we want, rather than being fully present in this moment with the fullness and joy that life has to offer.
Expressing gratitude with an agenda does not bring inner peace. When my clients say that they express gratitude but they don’t feel much from it, I know that their intent is to control rather than to love.
I believe that we each came to this planet to evolve our soul in our ability to love, and to fully manifest the gifts we have been given. I believe it is a sacred privilege to be in a body on this planet. It is when you are deeply grateful for what you have, for the beauty of life, and for the sacred privilege of simply being here, that the gratitude you express is genuine and heart-felt. It is this expression of gratitude that improves health and relationships, and brings inner peace, joy, and a deep sense of wellbeing.
Thanks for this article, Margaret. It was a different way of looking at gratitude that I hadn’t really thought of before – gratitude with an agenda. Hmmm. Good points.