The Inherent Soul Promise at the Core of Child-Parent Relationships

When our first child is born, our hearts hold all promises possible. We want to make their life the best, unaware of possible challenges that may arise, and that may be part of their soul invitation for their personal journey, and to our shared one. 

When my first was a little over three, and my twins were thirteen months old, I was involved in a car crash, severely wounded, and also experienced a simultaneous near–death experience (NDE)—two somewhat different realities. Physically, my body was bleeding and broken, my breath slowly deteriorating. At the same time, my soul was out of my body, embraced by Love. It was an experience of awakening my memory to who I am—who we all are—spiritual beings.  

Integrating my NDE while physically recovering was extremely challenging. Being my daughters’ mom was my one consistent motivation to heal. This motivation sent me on a quest to the essence of motherhood. I looked for what would define me as their mother beyond the doing or non-doing in my case.   

Weaving together lessons from my NDE, hours of observing my family, and trying to figure out why I am still needed brought me to realize that my daughters’ choice to come to me as their mom holds a promise. Expectations that are embedded in every parent-child soul relationship. 

When our child(ren) chooses us as their parents for this lifetime, their choice is constructed by many elements. Including, for example, our personality, place of living, lifestyle, or family tradition. Countless details are taken into account when constructing their plan and blueprint for their journey in this lifetime. We, their parents, did the same.  

Before these details, there are some foundational expectations, holding the expected potential—the possible. These foundational expectations are about one underlying promise: that, as their parents, we shall become and grow together with them. That we, the ones they chose as their guides in this lifetime, will manage to become choosing adults, healing what we need to heal, resolving what we need to resolve, and opening up to our essence, potential, and beauty—fulfilling the promise we made to ourselves. 

To my understanding, in choosing us as their parents, our child(ren) are aware, at a soul level, that many of us are not aligned with our truth. Still, there is an inherent hope, belief, and trust that together with them, we will show up for the journey parenting invites us to embark on and grow with them. 

Embedded within this promise that we will become the potential they are choosing is also the expectation that we will create the conditions they, our child(ren), need to stay true to their essence, fulfill their life’s plan, and walk their path in ease and joy.  

Creating the conditions our children need interweaves both daily aspects, providing them with guidance on how life here, on Earth, wherever we live, works at this time. It includes the care and nourishment of both body and soul.  

Creating these conditions is also about three basic elements, which I refer to as the promises of Truth, Attentiveness, and Motion.  

The Promise of Truth: Truth relates to finding ways to allow our children to stay true to their soul’s knowing. It requires attentiveness to their soul needs and preferences. Whose energy do they like, and do they feel safe around? Which friends are their true friends? Which foods or activities nourish them and which don’t? 

The Promise of Attentiveness: The promise of attentiveness invites us to slow down and cultivate our children’s innate ability to know their truth. Most children are born attentive. They are able to stop, listen, connect to nature, and know, if we only listen to them.  

The Promise of Motion: The promise of motion is our promise to become. As soon as we become aware, even before we take any action. Merely awareness of our shared journey and the invitation to shed what we don’t need or is not truly ours, and show up, is already a huge step, as it communicates energetically that we are aware and choosing to make an effort. It gives us time to compassionately take small steps towards becoming and healing at a pace that is possible for us while giving our children hope and trust that the possible can emerge.  

Awakening to the shared journey and its invitations, promises, and beauty takes us from parenting, or even conscious parenting, into spiritually aware parenting. Weaving our spiritual essence, shared journey, gratitude, and mutual respect as souls, not just as the human beings we are now.  

My personal journey and quest brought not only the insights briefly shared above. The motivation to heal so that I could become a present mother to my daughters also invited healing every family and personal wound I was aware of and many I was not aware of. I’ve let go of who I thought was me many times to eventually mostly walk my essence—the promise—the mother my daughters chose for this lifetime. 

This article briefly touches on insights shared in The Promise We Made: Three Universal Soul Promised We Made to Our Children.