“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and unspeakable love.” – Washington Irving
Despite the pain it elicits, loss shows us the healing power of love. It teaches us about the delicate balance, intensity, and richness of life and above all, provides the greatest opportunity for personal transformation. Loss is bittersweet for we cannot experience the pain of loss without first having experienced the joy associated with what has been lost. Moreover, the heartbreak that wounds us most deeply eventually leads us to greater enlightenment, blessing our lives with a more spiritual depth of life.
Grieving our losses by embracing our vulnerability is the path to healing our fractured self. Losses we suffer can derive from a wide range of situations such as losing a job, ending a relationship, suffering from an illness, or grieving the loss of a loved one. We experience loss not only through death, but most of all though changing, letting go, and moving on. These losses encompass our unfulfilled dreams, missed opportunities, and most of all the loss of our authentic selves.
Being human naturally sets us up for an emotional attachment to loss. Whether real or perceived, we feel loss when we are deprived of or have to let go of something we had and valued or something that we needed, wanted or expected. As we make strong affectional attachments to others, we undergo deep emotional distress and anxiety when we are separated from or lose that person. Therefore, the loss of a significant relationship even one with great distress disrupts the physical bonds of love, connection, and security. Without letting go of these losses, we can have difficulty moving from one transition to another, a passage that brings about physical, emotional, and spiritual maturation.
Acknowledging the positive side to loss doesn’t numb the pain for it’s the pain itself that breaks our hearts open to deeper love and spiritual healing. The pain lets us know that life is precious and we must take loving care of ourselves such as sitting with our feelings until they surface and release. Time may ease the pain of loss, but it’s being fully present with our heartbreak that unlocks the door to personal transformation. Leaning into such vulnerability allows us to face and experience the other side of loss, which is unconditional love of ourselves and others.
Experiencing unconditional love of ourselves is critical to healing and releasing our pain. Without full release, such emotional pain creates chronic distress, which may manifest in such conditions as depression, anxiety, and/or physical illness. If left unresolved, this pain will continue to be repeated and recycled through our interactions with others. We cannot fully release emotional pain with our minds, only with opening our hearts and experiencing what vulnerability is present. When we release the “heart stuff,” it opens up sacred space to heal and create more love, joy and peace in our lives.
The healing power of love allows us to let go of the past, better appreciate the present and harness this energy to create a more positive future. It begs the question: “How will I live?” It also challenges us to embrace these natural life cycles as a series of births and deaths that ultimately lead to our spiritual progression. Above all, it is the experience of loss, more than any other experience in life that can compel us to step into the space of our own vulnerability and transform our lives.
Here are heart-centered practices to assist you in healing the pain of loss in your life:
- Use “Bless and Release” as a daily mantra in your life. When any person or situation triggers negative emotions, bless them or the event for bringing this unhealed part of yourself into your conscious awareness. Sit with and release whatever pain surfaced so it doesn’t become a stuck place or an energy block.
- Notice when you feel unsettled, restless, or irritable. These are emotional cues that something is below the surface of your awareness and needs to be released. Sit, lie, or walk with your vulnerability or pain until it releases. Take time to share your experience with a trusted friend or someone on your energetic support team.
- Yoga poses such as cobra, upward facing dog, fish, or camel are great for opening the heart center and proving an opportunity for a release of emotions. Rolling up a towel and placing it under your heart center between your shoulder blades and lower back can open the heart and offer a release to emotional stress held here.
- While sitting or walking, use your breath to create an opportunity for release. Breathe in and look within with love of yourself, breathe out and look out to the world with love of others. Do this until your breath is rhythmic, and you feel calm and centered.
- Seek creative outlets to channel the energy that is released when you let go of pain and your heart is fully opened. Journal, dance, or sing to direct the flow of your energies creatively.
- Allow yourself to let go and be filled with divine love as it emerges from within the depths of your core. While being open to receive love, you become a channel for divine love to be enjoyed by yourself and shared with others.
- Create a sacred ritual to bless and release any person or situation. Possible rituals may include a private prayer service, the burning of items related to the person, the creation of a picture scrapbook or journal, or the designing of a collage that reflects your future intentions.
- Be a resonating field of love. Send love out into the world for the betterment of humanity. Become more kind and compassionate partners, patient and tolerant parents, attentive and supportive friends and co-workers.
- Be gentle, kind, and compassionate with yourself as you transform your pain into a loving vibration for a higher good. You will emerge on the other side of your pain stronger and lighter for all you have experienced.
