In our rational minds we would like to think that life is straight line from A to B, with effort leading to success and our lives steadily improving as we get older and wiser.
So surely working hard, developing your strengths and your positive attributes and building on past successes is the best way to achieve more success in life, right?
Well sure it is important! But this positive psychology approach is only half the picture. There is another huge piece of work for us to do if we really want to fly high and shine our brightest light.
Life, from the feminine perspective, is a circle, or even better put, a spiral. This spiral is constantly bringing us closer to our soul’s destiny, but it’s a very different from a straight line. It has a tendency to take us not only through positive experiences but also through unexpected failure, loss, pain and difficulty on the way. And because this spiral is ever expanding, it is taking us through ever-brighter light and ever-darker shadow.
The purpose of this spiral journey is to polish and perfect your soul. It’s the very darkest moments that are indeed the most valuable because they show you what you need to clean out and heal before you can enjoy another period of light and ease.
When you avoid your shadow and darkness, you become increasingly one-dimensional as you try to live through a projected self-image that only allows in your “good bits” whatever you may think them to be.
As you deny your shadow parts: your fear, shame, greed and self-hate, they begin to control you, wreak havoc in your life and relationships while you project them onto others and put the blame outside yourself for anything “bad” that’s happening to you.
The irony is that in trying to be your “best possible self” through denying this shadow you are actually moving away form your true authentic self, the you that has the sufficient power, vision, self-knowledge and humility to be in passionate service to the world.
They say that diamonds are forged under the earth with an incredible, intense amount of pressure that would kill you within a second if you experienced it in your physical body. Your unconscious is like that earth, a huge seemingly impenetrable mass full of darkness and mystery, yet diamonds are being forged there that make it worth diving down a hundred and even a thousand times.
Digging deep into the caves of your unconscious energy field, buried beliefs and suppressed emotions is the best way to find diamonds. You will encounter your greatest strengths and powers – those that you’ve left down there like a gift you’ve hidden from yourself – just so that you could give yourself the opportunity of going on this crazy treasure hunt in the first place.
Just let go of the fear and resistance of going to those darker places. It’s OK. We all have them. Entering into our shadow is enriching, revelatory. The more we gracefully surrender to what we find within our shadow the more easily we find the diamonds of wisdom and self-knowledge…and ultimately joy and grace.
The most genuinely joyful and successful people I know are the ones who have really “gone there” with their pain. They live their success with beautiful humility and transparency. They have compassion for others in pain. They are non-judgemental. Their journey of transformation really inspires others to overcome their own difficulties on the path.
That’s a wonderful destination to aim for as you dig deep and fly high!
Such a beautiful article Diana. You speak the truth as I have witnessed it and lived it. Although simple facing our shadow is not always easy. It helps to have support and community when taking those deeper dives.
Thank you Joni for your comment here! It is not easy indeed to face our shadow but the rewards are endless!