We’ve all been in this place at one time or another. Something happens in your life — the loss of a loved one, a betrayal, a diagnosis, or perhaps it’s a series of events or people who continually drain your energy — so much so that sometimes you feel like giving up. You’re so overcome by grief, despair, sadness, frustration, and other emotions that you feel gutted of hope and happiness. You feel like you’re drowning within yourself. You feel like you’re fighting for life — the life that you desire to live. A life filled with love, laughter and joy.
In these times, it’s like being in water up to your ears, with no support under your feet, fighting to stay afloat, and reaching for anything to pull yourself out. It’s an exhausting experience and you wonder how you’ll find your way out of the water and to a clear space to breath with peace again. In times of challenge when you feel yourself energetically and emotionally drowning, what saves you? What is it that pulls you to safety?
The Way Out of Despair Begins with This
Various spiritual teachings remind us that we have all that we need to be led out of our struggle; we can be pulled from the waters. Salvation can come in a moment of revelation, an idea, a vision, or a glimpse to let you know that you are not alone — that every thought is being heard, every struggle is being recognized, and every desire is being handled in the right timing. Salvation comes in the moments that you relax in the midst of your struggle. You relax not because you have found the answer yet, but because you realize that continuing to struggle and fight against circumstances beyond your control — or problems you don’t yet have an answer to — will not lead you to an answer. You relax because you decide that it’s okay to surrender to God.
This is, I believe, the number one way to be lifted out of despair and into a space where an answer can be found. It is through surrender. Because in surrender, you can touch upon a place of peace knowing that there is always a solution, and one will be revealed to you in the right timing. When you surrender, you’re not giving up your life, you’re getting it back. Because when you let go of those things that you’re struggling with, and do your best to remain hopeful and positive, you allow God to enter your life more fully and guide your next steps.
I’m reminded of a story about a woman who, due to a number of events happening in her life, found herself deep in despair and experiencing intense emotional suffering. At times, she couldn’t even pick herself up off of the floor because she was so weak from mental exhaustion. To gradually pull herself out of her turmoil, she did her best each day to adapt to her circumstances, remain positive, and move forward with her life. Despite experiencing moments of enjoyment in the years that followed, her feelings of anger, disappointment and heartbreak never fully went away. They kept resurfacing, causing her continued suffering. She prayed for a sign that God was indeed hearing her pleas and prayers for help to get through her challenges.
One day, while out for a walk, she was feeling particularly good. The weather was pleasant, people were out walking and each one greeted her and vice versa. As she continued to walk, her mind began to wander back to the events that had caused her immense emotional suffering. It was then that she experienced a vivid vision. She saw herself drowning — fighting to stay above the surface of water. Slowly she began to sink below, too tired to fight anymore. She could see herself going deeper.
It was in this moment in her vision that she felt a peace come over her and she began to experience a gentle pulling around her body. She was being lifted up and out of the water where she took her first new breath of air. She saw herself safe again. The vision disappeared as quick as it came, but as she continued to walk, she felt exhilarated. She realized with gratitude that it was God who pulled her from the water in her vision and helped her to make the decision to live, persevere and ultimately experience better days. And it was God who gave her this vision now as a reminder that she was, indeed, being heard.
In Surrender, You Are Always Saved
In the moments that this woman relaxed on her walk and noticed the good all around her, she was in a space of surrender. And in this space, she was given an important message through this vision that I believe relates to each one of us when we feel that we are drowning in despair or experiencing challenges in our life.
The message is: “You will always be uplifted out of your struggles. You are never alone.” That you can be brought out of the waters of despair and experience a new breath of air. This new breath is not only yours, but it is God breathing new life into you — and will do so every time you seek guidance and something better.
You can be reminded through this vision that whenever you feel like you’re drowning in frustration or grief or whatever it might be, you’re never alone and can always find salvation, peace and grace when you turn your attention toward hope, faith, and love; and when you believe that despite the negative things that happen — for whatever reasons they happen — there is a plan and purpose that will ultimately lead to good.
In the Buddhist tradition, they speak about the beauty of a lotus flower. The lotus flower grows in muddy waters yet rises above the surface to bloom with remarkable elegance and beauty. This is a good analogy for this life that says: even when things are rooted in impurity, beauty can still rise above and be untouched and unfazed by the muck that surrounds it.
When you find yourself struggling in your life and you come to a point where you say, “I’m done fighting and I now surrender the fight to You”, you open yourself to being uplifted out of the waters of despair, and to a place where you can breathe again. When you surrender what is out of your control, you can trust that in the surrender, you will always be saved.
