Upon waking at 3:30 a.m., I had a thought that I’d never had before. As I slowly came out from the cloudiness of sleep and into greater awareness of physical reality, I took mental note that I was opening my eyes. As I realized that it was a new day, I instantly felt a pit of concern in my stomach. I had never felt this way immediately upon waking before. There was no troublesome dream I had, nor any distressing circumstances I had been experiencing to provoke me to feel this way.
Within a few seconds, a thought popped into my mind: “Yesterday is over.” As odd as this thought was to me, it immediately led to a question that would ultimately be one I would ask myself every day from then on: “Do I feel good about how I lived my day?”
I sincerely needed to know that I made the best of the prior day because it was over, and I could never redo it. I quickly tried to recall what I did, who I was with, what I accomplished, how I treated others, how I handled any challenges or frustrations, and how I felt in general throughout the day.
I could feel my body tighten as I anxiously awaited my own answer to this question.
“Do I feel good about how I lived my day?”
A slideshow of images played through my mind. In reflection, and to my relief, I concluded that I did, indeed, feel good with the way I lived it. But this moment really made me think. What if the answer was “no”?
Life is too short not to live for today — not to live for this moment.
If you’ve ever been with someone at the end of their life, you know that what they regret most is not that they failed others, or even God, but that they failed themselves. For me in this moment, I needed to know if I had any regrets. Because if I had somehow failed my kids, then I had failed myself. If I had somehow failed in consciously living by loving values to the best of my knowledge and abilities, then I had failed myself. And if I had somehow failed to balance my work, relationships and my own well-being, then I had failed myself.
Most of us go through life striving for meaning, purpose and to be “someone” to others. To be “someone” of notoriety in our field of work; to be “someone” to a significant other; to be “someone” of value in the world. And in this busy pursuit, we get caught up in daily dramas of striving and accomplishing. At some point, we realize that we are coming toward the end of our life and we reflect on the things that we did or didn’t do. We wonder if we truly lived our life to the fullest, or if we allowed life to live us.
It’s never too late to make things better.
Fortunately, you don’t have to wait until late in life to ask yourself this question and make things better or do things different. Today, and this moment, is here now. And it is filled with opportunities to feel happier, more fulfilled and purposeful. As I laid there in the darkness of the early morning hours and reflected on the previous day, I made a mental list of why I felt happy and at peace with the way I lived it.
I had thoroughly enjoyed time with my kids. I was purposeful and intentional in my work. I fit in a short workout and took quiet moments out when needed, to relax or regroup. I cared for others. I didn’t let the bad moods of others get me down. And with every experience, I was keenly aware of how grateful I was for the time and the people in my life. I felt genuinely happy, which is often a challenge when balancing work, relationships, kids and home-life.
In a nutshell, I took time for all of my priorities and I was present enough to enjoy them all, without being distracted by my phone or the news or anything else that others felt that I should be doing. I simply enjoyed all that I could and took care of what I needed to. It was a learning lesson for me in how I wanted to spend my remaining days — balanced.
It’s not about your quantity in life (how much you accomplish, accumulate or do).
It’s about your quality of life.
This early morning moment made me realize how crucial it is to be clear on what’s most important, and to ask: “Do I feel good about how I lived my day?” Or better yet, to ask all throughout the day, “Am I making the best of today?”. With only a finite amount of energy to give each day, it must not be wasted. Every moment gives the opportunity to create a life of our choosing. One in which we feel accomplished, purposeful and happy.
