Most people don’t see themselves clearly.
When I begin working with a new client, I always ask, “What are your strengths?” They typically are surprised by the question and stutter and hesitate in giving me an answer. They come up with one or two things; I have to prompt to get a third.
Not so when I ask, “What are your weaknesses?” Most people rattle off several of these without pause.
We are so quick to notice the things we don’t do so well, yet struggle to see our gifts.
The truth is, at our core is our essence, our Authentic Self–curious, enthusiastic, compassionate (toward our self as well as others), creative, confident, joyful, and genuine. This beautiful core has gotten buried by years of conditioning–life experiences, self-talk, criticism from others, social expectations. We do get some positive messages, but they often slide right off. It is the negative that we hang on to.
Maybe we were one of the last ones picked for the basketball team, so we have judged our self as not athletic or klutzy. Someone made a comment that we were “pleasantly plump” and we looked in the mirror and saw ourselves as fat. We were told we were too loud, so we quieted our voice to the point where we no longer speak up. Someone laughed derisively at something we said, and we decided that we’re stupid.
These distorted, exaggerated perceptions of ourselves block the true expression of who we really are. They solidify into beliefs that become habitual, powerful, and difficult to change. Our lens becomes distorted.
We all know gorgeous people who don’t see themselves as attractive; talented people who minimize their gift; strong, capable people who don’t think they “can”; generous and loving people who repeatedly say, “It’s nothing;” uplifting people who touch us deeply and help us find our joy, but who get lost in their own despair.
We each know the struggle with our own version of “not good enough,” not “lovable enough,” not whatever enough.
It’s time to take a closer look at the evidence.
We must begin with a willingness to become consciously aware of who we really are, how we’re living, and what we believe. We look at our strengths as well as our shadows. We own it all. With courage, support, and guidance we dive into the muck and start peeling back the layers of accumulated conditioning. We begin to see beyond the surface and we find our depth. We start living from the authenticity of our own Spirit. We realign with our divine birthright. We find meaning, love, and joy.
This is not an easy process, and we need each other’s help.
Let’s see the gifts in others, and mirror them back. Let’s make it OK to brag a bit, to own our strengths. Let’s tell people how much we appreciate and value the gifts they bring to our life. Let’s see and acknowledge the beautiful Spirit buried beneath the layers of limiting beliefs and debris.
Today I say, “Namaste.” The Divine Spark in me recognizes the Divine Spark in you. I see your Light and your Shadow and I think you’re fabulous and I’m fabulous too!
