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Sacred Family Relationships: Do We Have Soul Agreements with Our Child(ren)?

Sacred Family Relationships: Do we have Soul Agreements with our Child(ren)? by Efrat Shokef, Ph.D. | #AspireMag

Soul agreements outline our expectations and wishes for our journey. At their core, they are the agreements and expectations we outline for ourselves: What is the purpose of our journey or this lifetime? Why are we here? What do we aim to learn? Are we here to provide a service? And so forth.

At the foundation of our soul expectations, we all walk with a shared purpose: Our promise to ourselves that in this journey to Earth, we will become the possible of our humanity. Uniting our humanness with our spiritual essence. Becoming the possible of our humanity is a choice embedded within each of us. A choice to not only experience life and explore Earth’s extraordinary beauty. Not only to listen to our hearts and guidance in the form of intuition or knowing. The promise, our promise to ourselves, is about how we walk life, expressing our essence, our true essence: LOVE.

All other soul agreements, contracts, expectations, or promises, as we relate to them, stem from this shared foundation. Our agreements with others, such as encounters that will guide us to the right path and help us navigate life, lessons and experiences that include others, and merely experiencing human interactions, are all secondary to the promise of walking life as the whole being that we are, merging our aspects and layers into a whole, embracing and becoming our possible.

Within these relational agreements and promises, there is a unique aspect related to our relationship with our child(ren). The decision to be born as someone’s child is a clear, energetic soul YES to having a child(ren) come to us as ours—ours in the biological sense or ours in so many other magnificent ways, in which significant adults are or become guides for significant little ones, and little ones, become guides, to us, adults.

Within our soul agreements with the child(ren) in our lives, we can differentiate between universal agreements or promises and personal ones, reflecting both our shared and unique blueprints for this lifetime.

Personal Soul Expectations hold the “specific aspects and particular expectations of a soul for the parents it has chosen and the journey she wishes to have on Earth. It may refer to the parents’ personality, character, place of living, and living conditions. It may refer to other souls already in their family apart from the parents, such as brothers and sisters and immediate close family. It may refer to the creation of events that will facilitate what she wants to achieve throughout her life. These agreements outline the conditions and challenges that the soul wishes to face along her journey so she can have the learning opportunities she specifically needs for her development and the conditions that will allow her to be of service.” *

These expectations can be about positive attributes that would nurture that soul in her growth. For example, a soul wishing to explore music may ask to be born to a musician who will share this passion and guide it to develop these abilities. It can also be about making a conscious choice to explore music with a different life perspective, such as playing as the classical composers intended versus variations or composing contemporary music.

While there is soul awareness that many here on Earth are often not walking aligned to their essence, and are somewhat confused, in our choice of parents, there is hope, belief, and trust. Just as we have faith in and trust our own ability to embrace our promise to become the best humans that we possibly can be, we also hope and trust that the parents we choose will grow with us, embrace their possible humanity, and be or join us, on our life’s journey of expressing our essence within our human Earthly life.

Universal Soul Expectations are ones that we all share. They are foundational promises of guiding our child(ren) not only on how life on Earth works and providing the tools they each need but also on how to adjust to life here, on this beautiful planet, while staying true to their essence. The universal agreements, or promises, as I prefer to refer to them, are basic, root needs of all those being born, outlining essential aspects of our life here. These are aspects and abilities we are all born with, and that we all ask to keep and nourish. Without them, staying true to our essence and becoming the whole being we intend to be becomes much harder.

In guiding parents, I am often asked how we can fulfill our promises to our child(ren)?

Can we know what our personal agreements hold?

These questions always make me smile. I used to ask these same questions and am sometimes still tempted to ask them.

Then, I also, sadly or gratefully, depending on perspective, share that we mostly keep our soul agreements and wishes for our path a secret, even from ourselves. Moreover, if we keep our blueprints a secret from ourselves, then so do our children.

Can we still reveal some of it? We can observe our relationship with our child(ren) and reflect on those aspects that we are invited to transform.

Ask yourself

(1) What triggers me in my relationship with my child(ren)? Take these thoughts or answers and explore your contribution to what’s happening. Is it a behavior, pattern, or thought structure that you walk with? Does it remind you of someone else with whom you need to resolve your relationships? Own your piece of the equation, take responsibility, and explore how you can expand that ability, behavior, or thought pattern, and if it is a pattern that does not serve you, how can you let it go?

(2) When observing your child(ren), notice what brings you deep joy. What expands you with gratitude? What helps you connect to the innocent, creative, trusting child within you? Observe your child(ren), and yourself when you are together and explore: Is there something in our relationship that I wish to bring to other relationships that I walk in? Is there something that my child is being, doing, enjoying, or trying that I should explore as well?

Often, children have the time and legitimacy to play, laugh, explore, make mistakes, or be creative in ways that we, as adults, don’t allow ourselves to. We are all here to be our best selves, and the children in our life often offer us the invitation to join them in their explorations, reminding us what makes us happy along the way.

(3) Ask what’s mine? What’s not mine? Observe what is shared, and also remember that our children do bring gifts and challenges that are not related to us or our shared journey. Take the aspects, gifts, and challenges that you share with your child(ren) with two loving hands and an open heart and allow mutual growth.

Growth always happens together.

(4) Walk your best self. Kindness, compassion, and creativity. Humor, curiosity, and gentleness. Knowing, listening, and following our hearts, as so many other positive abilities and characteristics we walk with as humans, invite us to become. Choose joy, gratitude, and acceptance. Become the beauty that you are. It’s the only way of becoming the parent our child has chosen to come to. The potential and the possible.

* Quote from The Promise We Made: Three Universal Soul Promises We Made to Our Children © Efrat Shokef, 2024.

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About the author 

Efrat Shokef

Efrat Shokef, Ph. D., is the author of ‘The Promise We Made: Three Universal Soul Promises We Made to Our Children—Near Death Experience and the Parenting Teaching it Invites’.

She is a Shamanic Energy Healing Practitioner working with children, teens, parents and families. A homeschooling mother to three spiritually aware teens, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a cosmic journeyer, and a writer. Efrat’s journey took her from an academic path, through a car crash and an NDE, making her unable to care for her daughters.
Her physical reorganization, integrated with her NDE, invited her to say multiple yes’s to the universe, and to explore the essence of motherhood and our sacred soul relationship with our children. Learn more at
www.EfratShokef.com 

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