A friend of mine was in a really bad relationship. Her partner would do terrible things to her mentally, physically, and emotionally. After some time, she finally got out of that relationship, and she didn’t date for quite a while, too shaken from what she had gone through.
She came to me one day and said, “Chloe, I just don’t think I can trust anyone anymore. I’ve been through so much that I am afraid the next man will be him all over again.”
I resonated with that—and I gave her an unorthodox suggestion. “As crazy as this may sound,” I told her, “you have to send love and light out to him and let him go. You’re still tied to him if you can’t move on and live your life.”
She looked confused as she thought about this deeply. “I just don’t know how.”
A lot of people don’t know how. That’s why I’m telling you that even if someone did something unspeakable to you or to someone you know, if you hold on to your anger, you are only hurting yourself. Though it may be the most difficult thing to do, sending love and positivity to someone who has scarred you will actually be the most renewing thing you’ve ever done as weight falls off your shoulders. When we hold on to anger, we are giving other people power over us. To get our power back, we have to let go of the pain and the hurt and the fear from the past and live in the moment, starting today.
My friend spent years of her life hating a man who had wronged her. In those years, she passed up multiple opportunities to make a fresh, new start because she feared that the next man would be just like the last. Unknowingly, she was giving her power away to the previous relationship by not moving on from it.
Sending light and love into the world and letting go of past hurt only works if you are truly ready to move on in your life, close a previous chapter, and forgive the person who has hurt you. This is giving at its finest, because you are sending your love and light to someone who probably at this moment in time doesn’t deserve it.
So why give it then? you may ask. You give love away and you give light to others so that you, in return, will receive love and light — and what I mean by “light” is prosperity, abundance, happiness. You are cutting ties with this person, and you’re going your separate ways. Forever. You are eliminating the hurt, the pain, and the fear. You are stepping out on faith and becoming the person you didn’t know you could be — someone who forgives someone who hurt you beyond hurt.
I know, I understand.
I’ve been there.
And maybe you need to work on forgiving someone who has hurt someone you love, and you’re struggling with that. Forgiveness is a complex process. It can be difficult to think of giving someone a free pass by forgiving them, especially if you’re feeling angry, betrayed, and hurt. But ultimately, forgiveness is all about you. You have to release your negative emotions toward others so that these feelings don’t fester inside you. Bottled-up negative feelings can result in turmoil, disease, illness, and overall unhappiness in our lives.
If you’re struggling with forgiving someone who you feel doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, these tips for releasing all that pent-up negative energy that is causing you more harm than good.
Tips to Release Negative Energy toward Those Who Have Harmed You:
- Acknowledge the feelings. It’s OK to feel angry, upset, betrayed, and hurt. Recognize and accept these feelings — but don’t sit in them. Let them flow by like leaves floating through a stream. Don’t let them fester inside you. Acknowledge them and then move on by letting them go.
- Understand the circumstances. Do you know the full story or only one side of it? Try to understand the situation from the other person’s point of view. This by no means excuses their actions, but it gives you perspective to help you understand their intentions.
- Communicate. If you’re able to communicate in a way that is not triggering, let the person know how you feel and how the situation has affected you. This may also help you release negative emotions you are holding on to.
- Practice empathy. Use the Magic Action Love and Light Technique below to help you release pent-up energy and remove negative emotions from your body, replacing them with healing empathy.
- Release and let go. You’ve done the work. Now it’s time to go out and live your life, closing this chapter and leaving it behind.
Adapted from the book Untapped Magic. Copyright © 2024 by Chloe Panta. Reprinted with permission from New World Library.www.newworldlibrary.com.
