If you’ve been following along in my relationship series, I’ve been covering the 8 proven steps of our Relationship Transformation System over the past 5 issues.
So far, I’ve covered the first 5 Steps of our system, which are all about creating your unshakable love! Without an unshakable love, it’s not possible to create an unleashed passion with ravishing intimacy! You can read my past columns here.
Steps 6-8 of our system are all about helping you create your unleashed passion!
Woo Hoo! Who doesn’t want more of that?
We call Step 6 ‘Sparks’ – which refers to polarity, or the energetic charge that occurs when masculine and feminine energy combine. Sparks are what create the passion in a relationship!
Sparks are not only something you feel between you and your partner, but everyone around you can feel your sparks too! There’s no faking passion – you can say you have it, but everyone around you can feel it if you don’t!
A few years ago, we were on an airplane flying down to the islands to host one of our annual Breakthrough in Paradise events, when the flight attendant who had been observing us together came over to congratulate us on our “wedding”! She assumed we were flying down for our honeymoon.
When Paul responded that we’ve been together 20 years, with 2 kids and a business, she was speechless! She just cocked her head to the side, as if trying to take in what he’d said – but it just wasn’t computing!
The fact that so many people notice our PASSION for each other as so “not normal” is a sad commentary on what has become NORMAL.
Let me ask you a question… Do you know what the number 1 killer of relationships is?
Contrary to what popular relationship ‘gurus’ would tell you, it’s not poor communication skills, arguments about money, the in-laws, lack of time, lack of sex, or even infidelity!
How can that be? Those all sound like pretty serious relationship killers, don’t they? After all, you probably know people who’ve cited those reasons for filing divorce.
On the surface, those sound like very logical, indisputable facts for why a relationship died.
But here’s the truth: those are just the SYMPTOMS that they’ve fallen prey to this killer!
It’s kind of like when you have the flu –cough, aches, fever, or runny nose are not the virus itself – they’re merely the symptoms. They’re simply ‘evidence’ that the problem exists.
Most of the products that are advertised as ‘remedies’ for the flu aren’t actually remedies; they merely manage the symptoms.
Similarly, most of the popular relationship advice, counseling, or therapy today only serves to manage the symptoms of the real relationship killer!
You can find thousands of articles on how to communicate so your partner will listen; how to make time for one another; how to jazz up your sex life and leave your man begging for more; how to recover after an affair with all sorts of accountability measures that are supposed to fix the problem.
There’s only ONE problem with that… it’s all CRAP!
And what breaks my heart is that it keeps great people stuck in a relationship that is LESS than they dreamed it would be.
So, what IS the problem?
It’s what I call the “Passion-less Relationship” Epidemic.
You can see it everywhere you look… couples are good friends, good parents together… but that’s about it. The SIZZLE has FIZZLED!
I explain why this happens to so many couples using a tool called the ‘Love and Passion See-Saw’.
Love and passion work like a see-saw; the HIGHER your LOVE goes, the passion starts to fall lower and lower, until it’s gone.
WHY?
It’s a predictable pattern actually…
Love comes from “sameness.” Having things in common is the foundation for LOVE!
But do you know what sameness is NOT good for? You got it…PASSION!
That’s because passion comes from differences! In the beginning of a relationship there everything is NEWNESS! There are plenty of differences, and thus plenty of passion!
As we build more sameness in our relationship by living in the same house, having the same friends, or having kids, by definition, the differences start to fade and the passion fizzles.
The good news is that if this has happened to your relationship, we can help you turn this around! It’s never too late.
With the proper tools and strategies, it’s possible to create a height of passion that matches the depth of your love. In fact, you can create a passion that is way hotter and more exciting than it was when you were dating! I’m living proof of that!
How?
You must intentionally cultivate the differences in your relationship! It sounds simple, but in my experience, this will NOT happen ACCIDENTALLY. You must CREATE it!
While Paul and I teach loads of the differences to empower you with the tools and strategies that really work to reignite your passion, today I want to teach you the Number One difference that will give you the biggest results!
POLARITY!
Polarity is the energetic charge created by the difference between masculine and feminine energy.
We thrive in life, and in our intimate relationships, when we’re operating from our authentic core on a day-to-day basis.
The problem is that most people today are stuck operating in an energy that is opposite from their authentic core energy!
We have an energy FLIP FLOP epidemic going on too!
Everywhere I look, I see women stuck in their masculine and sometimes even despising their feminine and making it wrong! I also see men disconnected from their masculine or stuck in feminine energy!
Friend, this has a disastrous effect our intimate relationships! Sexual attraction requires both partners to be operating from an authentic core-energy, which is opposite from their partner’s. (Think ‘yin/yang’; or ‘opposites attract’!)
Your authentic energy has everything to do with the level of passion in your relationship!
Passion is the life-force of a relationship, without it, your relationship will die!
This ONE difference is enough to inoculate YOUR relationship from the ‘Passion-less Relationship’ Epidemic!
I know, because this is where Paul and I were years ago when we first started this work!
Back then, I was living more in my masculine energy and he was disconnected from his masculine, living more in his feminine.
My core energy is my feminine… but I was stuck in my masculine, after years of working in corporate as a tax accountant!
See, when I entered the corporate world, I got a very clear message:
“Leave those emotions at home, missy! This is business; it’s not personal! We don’t get emotional; we don’t cry; and we certainly don’t talk about feelings here! You need to buck up, be factual, deliver on time, and produce results!”
I’ve talked to thousands of women who had a similar experience as me in their work or somewhere else in their life. Perhaps you did too?
Here’s the problem with it: women are very good at adapting to using our masculine tools and wearing our masculine mask!
Unfortunately, once we learn to cultivate our masculine tools and masks at work, it becomes really easy for us to reach for those tools and that mask every time we feel hurt, disappointed, angry, or vulnerable in a relationship.
We were well intentioned, but it had a very negative ramification that we could never have anticipated…we totally zapped the passion out of our relationships and we were left wondering what the hell happened, with no clue how to fix it!
Sound familiar at all?
On the flip side, our men are LACKING in positive, mature masculine role models today! Most of us don’t even know what a ‘mature masculine’ man looks like!
The mature masculine man is rooted and immovable in his masculine presence. Mature masculine men who know who they are; they know where they’re going, and they refuse to allow anything or anybody to get in their way!
Despite this, he never lives from his ego! He lives from his heart, with honor. He is fulfilled through providing, serving, and doing what’s right. He is completely confident and unshakable for his woman. He always has her best interests at heart.
It’s RARE to find this man today!
This energy FLIP FLOP is something that is SO off our radars, and yet it has such a dramatic impact on our lives and relationships.
It’s not your fault… NO ONE has shown you the way out…… YET.
But this really can be turned around! You can absolutely RECLAIM your true feminine radiance.
If this is something you need help with, please check out our Quick Start program and get started right away!
Secret Ninja Tip: The quickest way to return to your authentic core is to spend time in the presence of a feminine and mature masculine in their authentic energy.
This is exactly why Paul and I do our live events. After our students experience our energies together, it becomes less elusive and it’s much easier for them to shift into what we model for them.
We’d love to have you join us in one of our programs or events!
