When I was in high school and college, I never considered the evolution of my life. I never thought about who I was becoming because, at the time, I was more focused on doing. Going to school. Working part-time to pay my bills. Hanging out with my friends. Studying for the next exam. Writing the next paper. Figuring out how to graduate.
Fast forward three decades, and I’m in a very different place. A place of curious comfort. Comfortable in my sense of peacefulness yet ever excited for what comes next. Interestingly, I didn’t get to this place by doing; I got here by learning how to be — mindfully seeking out my authentic self, and trusting myself to unfold into that realization.
Michael Bernard Beckwith says that we can be active participants in the evolution of our lives — the unfolding of who we become. To do this, however, we must first know who we want to become. More importantly, we must make an emotional connection to that part of ourselves by asking “why” and then resonating in that answer.
Participating bolding in the evolution of your life means you must truly desire the very manifestation you wish to create. For example, if you want to become a lawyer, ask yourself why. If you respond with, “Because that’s what my mother does, and what my parents expect me to do as well.” If you are following a path someone else wants for you, it’s not a destination of your choosing. And, while you may follow the path to it’s natural conclusion, chances are you will not be happy.
The Litmus Test: It’s All in the Feeling
Seriously. Everything you need to know about your life is contained within your emotional guidance system. If you feel incomplete, then look at all the areas of your life to determine where the gap might be. Consider the emotional, spiritual, social, financial, familial, physical, mental, and career aspects of your life. Sit with those considerations and then on a scale of 1 – 10, with 10 being awesome, how would you rate your happiness and satisfaction in each of those areas? Now, consider that each area represents a spoke on a wheel, and the number you identified on the scale indicates the length of the spoke. How smooth would your ride be? What aspects of your life might you need to focus to gain an increased feeling of balance?
Change Takes Courage
Whether your litmus test of feeling signifies you would feel happier with more friends or you need to release an unhealthy relationship, change is required. Often change can feel scary, and transformational change can feel paralyzing. Bottom line: change takes courage. Lots of courage
Here’s a question to ask yourself: How long will the discomfort last if you make the change versus allowing things to remain unchanged? If the goal is to get to a better feeling place, then your honest answer to that question is key. It points you squarely in the direction you need to go.
Don’t Expect a Bandstand
When and if you decide to create a change in your life, those around may not be very supportive. Don’t let that surprise you. They are uncomfortable because your change creates implications of change for them by default. And, no matter how thoroughly you try to explain yourself, they may never be stand behind you in the way you would have wanted. That’s okay because you are in charge of your happiness, and only you know what it takes to live authentically, following your dreams.
Your Next Step
If you take a moment right now to consider all the aspects of your life, what one area could benefit from your focused attention? What aspect of your life is overdue for growth, development, challenge, and adventure?
Finally, what is the first next step you can take to move boldly into your future? Whatever it is, I know you will be the bold participant in the unfolding of your life.
Sheila, this is an excellent article. I appreciate your points about being guided by our feelings, supported by courage, and aware that we may or may not receive applause!
Thank you, Chara!