Whether you are thinking of talking to your boss about a raise, new responsibilities, or a reduction in work hours, there’s one question you need to ask yourself first.
Is your request based on a need or a want?
The difference?
Needs are not negotiable. Period.
Because women tend to be nurturers, trying to take care of everyone and everything, we often forget about what we need, what we want. If you are negotiating around a need, for example health and wellness for yourself or a family member, think hard about what you are sacrificing. Think about how you can position your need requests in a way that makes it very clear to your boss.
For example, your six-year-old son is having a difficult time learning how to read. You feel the need to reduce your hours during the summer months so that you can spend extra time working with him on reading. Sure, you could pay someone to do this for you, but you deeply need to have this time to spend with your son. Otherwise, you know you will feel guilty for not being there for him.
Position this to your boss as: “I need to work with my son to get him up to grade level. I expect that I can do this coming in at 10:00 am versus 8:00 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the next eight weeks. I’ll be able to do any required catch up in the evenings after my son goes to bed.”
Not only have you given your boss the driving issue, you’ve clearly articulated how your request will affect schedule, and for how long. Moreover, you’ve indicated that you’re still committed to doing the work, just on a different schedule.
If you fail to position your desired outcome as a need, your boss will automatically consider your request a want, and may not give it the consideration it deserves. After all, bosses are busy, which is why the greater clarity you can provide, the better your chances of getting what you need and want.
If you’re thinking about approaching your boss with a tough conversation about a job-related change, make sure you’re clear about what you need versus what you want. This not-so-subtle difference is key to job satisfaction and performance.
9 Symptoms of a Needing Job Change
- You don’t feel like you are contributing to your full potential.
- You don’t feel excitement for your work as you once did.
- You feel like something is missing in your career, but you don’t know what.
- You find yourself daydreaming about an alternate life and career.
- You get excited when you meet people who have made successful transformational career changes.
- You don’t want to go to work anymore.
- You start feeling tired before you get to work.
- Your body is showing physical symptoms that have become constant, i.e., joint pain, rash, digestive issues.
- You feel an unrelenting omen in your heart that you must make a job change and fast!
Only you know the difference between what represents a need or a want in your life. But once YOU know the difference, make sure you clearly communicate it to management when the time comes for discussion.
