Have you ever felt like you had so many things to do that you just don’t know where to start? Are you pulled in so many directions by your career, your family, your to-do list, etc. that you feel like your time doesn’t even belong to you anymore? Have you ever thought… “When can I catch a break?” or “I need a vacation!” Sometimes you may even feel like running away.
The good news is you can take a mini “vacation” and feel restored any time you want by learning to control your mind and using a technique called Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a mental state achieved when you focus your awareness on the present moment you are in. As you focus on the present moment you also acknowledge and accept what you are feeling, your body sensations, thoughts and all that is happening in that moment. Mindfulness can be very therapeutic and can reduce feelings of anxiousness and frustration and takes you out of the past and the future and helps you fully embrace the present moment.
You see, it’s not really the tasks we have or the day-to-day grind that is the problem, it’s the way we feel about it that is the problem. It’s the opinions and emotions we attach to it that causes the unrest, the fatigue, and the heaviness. When you dive deep into how this works you realize that the emotions and opinions and feeling you have come from somewhere in your past wiring or your fear of the future and this is what can cause the sheer overwhelm you are experiencing. If you think about it, even if you are doing a relaxing activity like painting or laying by the pool, if your mind and emotions are in the past or fear of the future, then you will not feel relaxed.
Mindfulness brings you into the present which is the only reality that you have. Mindfulness puts you in touch with what you are really experiencing in the here and now. Often, we are operating on auto pilot and missing out on so many things in life because our minds are out of control. Mindfulness is about experiencing the present and freeing ourselves from the unhelpful ways of thinking and responding that do not fix or solve anything.
Mindfulness is a skill that can be developed to break free of the unhelpful habits that put you at a state of dis-ease and cause distress. By learning to be in “mindful state” more often, we will develop new habits and get more control of our mind and feel more at ease. As a busy woman myself, I use mindfulness daily as one of my tools to achieve The Well-Trained Mind.
The 5 Core Features of Mindfulness are:
- Observing. Be the observer of your experiences from a manner that is more direct and sensual (sensing mode) rather than being analytical (thinking mode). We often naturally try to think about something rather than feel it or experience it. Simply try to observe your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations with the curiosity of a child. Like “aha” moments.
- Describing. Take time to notice the fine details of what you are observing. Often, we only scan the environment and miss out on a lot so take time to notice texture, color, the air, the smell, the noises, the seen and unseen. Consider an orange…what shade of orange is it, how does it feel in your hands, what is the texture, is it round or oval, does it have dimples, does the skin have an essence, is it a little squishy or super hard, is there a stem attached, how does it feel rolled on your arm, where did it come from, is it ripe, do you consider it large or small, how long do you think it has been off the tree, when you squeeze it do you smell the essence or do you have to cut into it before it smells, how does it feel to cut into it, is the knife you are using sharp or dull, is it easier to peel, look at the veining inside, how many seeds are there, etc.
- Participating Fully. Playing full out or fully showing up is the aim of mindfulness. Don’t exclude anything. Try to notice all aspects of whatever task or activity you are doing and give your full attention and care to this.
- Non- Judgmental. It’s important to adopt an accepting stance towards whatever is happening or whatever you are experiencing. A significant reason for prolonged emotional distress is related to our attempts to avoid or control what is happening or to judge the experience labeling it good or bad or even to avoid certain experiences. Accepting all of the experience can be challenging and being in the experience with a kind and gentle curiosity is key.
- Focus on one thing at a time. When observing your experience, make an effort to focus your attention on only one thing at a time. No multi-tasking here. The art of being present is to notice when your mind has drifted, and you are no longer in sensing mode and back into thinking mode and gently bring it back to the present experience.
Being mindful can become a habit and can greatly reduce tension and help you feel more at ease but should be practiced regularly. Mindfulness can also bring about a lot of self-awareness. Self-awareness is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence (EQ) and a key component in self-concept development. Internal awareness is the ability to get insights into your emotions, feelings, needs, strengths and weaknesses, triggers, thoughts, habits, dreams, and qualities. External self-awareness is the ability to process feedback from others and recognize how they see you. People who lack self-awareness are more likely to stay in unfulfilling relationships, careers and to repeat bad patterns. The good news is you have the ability to comprehend your inner self through mindfulness, raise your emotional intelligence and live a more fulfilled, peaceful life!
