In order to create wealth and success in my life, I had to look outside my current circle of influence and step into a bigger arena. Similarly, if you want to create your vision of wealth and success, you will need to surround yourself with people who not only support that vision, but can actually help you shift your beliefs and achieve your dreams.
The first step in developing a success-oriented mindset is to understand your current mindset and where it comes from. So, grab a piece of paper and a pen, and answer the following two questions:
- What are my current beliefs about … • Money? The economy? • What it takes to create a thriving business? • What it takes to create long-term, sustainable wealth? • What it takes to leave a legacy?
- Where did these beliefs come from? Who gave them to me?
The response to the second question—who gave you your current belief systems—will overwhelmingly be your parents, teachers, friends, and family members. Now, be honest: were these people wealthy and successful? And, if so, were they wealthy and successful in the same way that you want to be wealthy and successful? If you’re currently struggling to create the wealth and success you desire, the answer is probably “no.”
So now, let me ask you this: is it possible that your current set of beliefs may not be the truth when it comes building wealth? We don’t let go of our truths easily. I’m not asking you to change your fundamental beliefs overnight. All I ask is that you open your mind to the possibility that there are pathways to success other than the ones you were taught. Once you do that, opportunities will start to crop up for you in all kinds of unexpected places—like that infomercial I saw on late-night TV! Be willing to flip the coin; to look at the other side of the story, and admit that you might have something to learn.
In my experience, the easiest way to become rich is to “do what the rich do.” is means expanding your circle of influence to include mentors, friends, and role models who have accomplished what you want to accomplish, in the same way that you want to accomplish it. Forget those who teach from theory and logic; you need to be around people who have actually done it. When you’re in their presence, the life and wealth you desire to create isn’t just a fantasy anymore; it’s attainable, and it’s standing right in front of you! However, to bene t from this association, you need to set aside your ego, be willing to learn, and put aside your old “truths” and judgments to make way for new, upgraded beliefs and thoughts.
The flip side of expanding your circle of influence to include people who inspire and motivate you is that you need to let go of people who are holding you back. People who cut you down, ridicule your dreams, or simply don’t believe in what you’re doing are not going to help you succeed. Unless you minimize your exposure to their negativity, their attitudes will affect you and drag you down. You don’t need to cut them out of your life completely (unless you want to), but move them outside of the realm of close contact.
The more time you spend around successful people, the more likely you are to take on their beliefs, and the more likely you are to be successful. This is the power of your circle of influence!
The Power of Your “Why”
The next step in cultivating a positive mindset is understanding your “why.”
A strong “why” is your driving force. It’s the reason you do what you do—the reason you want to be wealthy and successful. If you don’t know your “why,” it’s easy to get sidetracked in life and business, or slide back into unhelpful patterns of thinking and circles of influence.
Whenever you are taken outside your comfort zone to a new thought process or a new adventure, it’s going to be uncomfortable. However, if you have the anchor of your “why,” you will be able to see through the confusion to the end result. A strong “why” will always be greater than your fear.
When I first left my marriage, my “why” was my desire to reinvent myself so I could feel worthy and lovable again. I was broke, deeply in debt, with no job and few prospects, living with my parents. More, I was suffering from the illusion that I needed a man to provide for me. In short, I was depressed, scared, and starting from scratch.
“I’m such a mess,” I would think. “Who is ever going to love me now?”
Yes, my mindset was in the toilet. So, I had to start small. I started with the belief that, if I got out of debt, I could be successful, and therefore be lovable again. I believed that I needed to make money in order to get what I wanted, which was to feel valued. at was my “why”—and I committed to doing whatever it took to creating a new reality for myself.
When we simply want something, we don’t often follow through. But when we need something, we will do whatever it takes to create it. When I shifted from wanting to succeed to needing to succeed, I started to find traction. There were no limits as to what I would try in order to create the reality I wanted—including shifting my beliefs, mindset, and circle of in influence.
Of course, my “why” shifted drastically as I learned more about myself, my capabilities, and my talents. I soon learned that I didn’t need to rely on a man to support me; I could be a successful, single woman and create everything I wanted on my own. Nowadays, my “why” is to be a role model for others, and to instill in them that they have the potential to be and do whatever they want. But in the beginning, I didn’t have the confidence or conviction to support a “why” like that. I had to start where I was. The more I worked on my mindset, the more my “why” evolved.
There will be times when you need to shift your “why” to move forward. When I saw that late-night infomercial with my real estate mentor, part of what attracted me was the big house and shiny Ferrari in the background of the shot. I wanted those things, too! Then, my mind stepped in and said, “Why do you need a Ferrari? No one from Cudahy, Wisconsin drives a Ferrari.” If I had listened, I would have talked myself out of attending that first seminar, and I would have missed out on the opportunity that catapulted me into a whole new world of success. Instead, I dug deeper, and really looked at why I needed to take this big, uncomfortable step. I wanted a Ferrari—but I needed to get out of my awful financial situation. Only then could I create the life I really wanted.
Your “why” is a vital part of your mindset because it gives you the drive you need to seek out new experiences, knowledge, and circles of in influence. If you aren’t 100 percent sure about your “why,” it’s time to do some soul searching. Only if your “why” is bigger than your fear will you get to the finish line. If it’s not, you will settle for less than you really want, or sabotage yourself.
