For most of my life I was afraid of just about everything.
The question of “what if’” began when I was a child and followed me all through my young adult years. What if this happens and what if that happens? And for me the “what if” was never an awesome thing, inevitably what I was worrying about and fixating on was always the worst-case scenario. I had little to no faith that everything would work out for the best.
That negative mindset kept me making safe choices like getting married instead of starting a career in my early 20’s. I was so fearful that I didn’t have what it takes to make it in the world as a single, independent woman. What I’ve learned is that the Divine is relentless when you are meant for bigger things in life, because over the next 25 years, I kept calling in situations and relationships that would force me to step through my fears and into my entrepreneurial shoes.
Can you can notice a little of your own story in my story? Perhaps you’ve dreamed of starting a heart-centered business and allowed fear to stop you. I get it, trust me, but what I know for sure is the following – when you step into your personal fires instead of running from them, you become a courageous, badass of a woman. A QUEEN ready to take her place on her throne. My throne made of pure gold and is jewel encrusted just in case you were wondering…
After working with hundreds of women over the last 5 years on mindset and business creation + building, I know that most women run from their fears instead of walking towards them. I did too for most of my life. I believed that if I didn’t look at what scared me, or stop talking to the person who was upsetting me, I would avoid conflict and be safe.
Not the case.
My biggest fears showed up over and over again in a different scenario or in a different human being until I faced them. Starting my online business was a huge trigger for me. Being visible, vulnerable and authentic – letting strangers see my personal pain and underbelly was NOT something I had a comfort level around. However, those qualities are necessary for building a heart-centered coaching business, so I had two choices; ditch my business or step into my fear.
I chose to step into my fear and still do to this day.
There’s a saying that I heard from my mentors during trainings over and over; new level – new devil, and that has been my experience. Every time I moved my business forward a new fear dragon came swooping in to scare the crap out of me. I remember my very first unsubscribe from my email list… I cried on and off the entire day – no joke. I felt like I had gotten fired. The first 100 unsubscribes from my email list made me cry too, just not all day. Then one day I finally decided to examine why I felt so bad when an unsubscribe came in and noticed that I had a strong need to be liked and approved of. It was at that point that I started my journey to heal my co-dependency. As I healed my co-dependency it became easier and easier to accept what seemed like “rejection” and helped me stand more fully in my power.
Another biggie for me was “fear of technology”. I have never worked in an office, so back when I began my business, I barely knew how to answer emails much less open a Word document. Diving into online platforms to run and grow my business seemed way beyond my capabilities. I would get stuck every time I tried to move forward because I didn’t know how to work the technology! I also have a Virgo perfectionism thing going on, so I had a fear of technology glitches and looking stupid in front of people. How about that for fears? Technology is completely out of our control AND unpredictable at times! Eventually my practical side would win and I’d dive into learning how to do everything on my computer and smart phone. Now technology is for the most part easy breezy for me, and I delegate to my team the tasks I have no desire to do.
The list of my fears went on and on, however the one thing I made sure to do was step into them one at a time. When you step through fear and into your personal power, you realize just how powerful a woman you are… and from that place – anything, and I mean ANYTHING is possible! It’s the woman you become in the process that will astound you.
Some Empowering Suggestions For You
- Work with gemstones like black onyx, fire agate, amethyst or green calcite. Rutilated Quartz can be programmed to reduce fears, phobias, anxiety, and other limitations.
- Work with Sandalwood, Lavender, Frankincense, Cypress or Bergamot Essential Oils by diffusing them or creating oil blend by mixing the essential oils with carrier oil. I use fractionated coconut oil and rub the oil blends in a circular, clockwise motion over my heart every day as a practice to keep me grounded and in the present moment.
Write down the fears that are bubbling up on a piece of paper and then burn the paper in a fire safe vessel.
