Live Your Purpose: Are You Living on Purpose or Hiding in Fear?

It’s agonizing isn’t it?

You know you don’t belong in your job. Sure, it puts food on the table and keeps a roof over your head, and with the economy the way it is, you should probably feel grateful for having a job at all, but you wonder…

Could you make it on your own? Could you take the leap and be your own boss? Could you get up every morning and actually be paid well to do what you absolutely love?

A part of you thinks you could. A part of you thinks you would be great at it. A part of you believes doing anything less would be a waste of your God-given talent.

But that’s the problem: it’s only a part.

The rest of you thinks about quitting your job and wants to throw up. It worries about being homeless, looking like a loser, and ruining your child’s life.

“Be rational,” it says. “Who are you to want so much? Just be happy with what you’ve got.”

And so you end up in knots, tossing and turning at four in the morning as the two sides war within you. Which one is telling the truth? Which one is lying?

You just can’t tell, and the uncertainty of it is driving you crazy…

I know, because I’ve been there.

I’ve always been the financial provider in my family, supporting my husband as he pursues his dream of writing the great American novel, and grateful I could fulfill that role. But one day, about 5 years ago, I knew I wanted more.

I had noticed that what I loved most about my work as a midwife was talking with my patients about their hopes for their lives and their families. I realized that I wasn’t just helping them give birth to their babies: I was helping them give birth to their dreams.

And then, I had the epiphany, “These women need a midwife for their LIFE!”

My personal coaching business was born.

I built it while I continued to work the same hours at the hospital. It’s required me to work a lot of late nights and weekends, but when my clients tell me that I’ve helped them accomplish dreams they had all but given up on, and that they even thank God every day for me, it makes it all worth it. In fact, it’s all I want to do.

I love my business, and it’s grown a lot over the last five years, but was it enough to leave behind a career that has defined me for the last 20 years? Could I really expect it to support me and my family?

I knew there was only one way I was ever going to find out, so in April I resigned from my staff position at the hospital.

With no guarantees, I should’ve stayed at my hospital job, right?

I couldn’t do it.

Quite frankly, it’s painful to feel like your dreams are drifting away while you’ve got a family to support, and if you’re like me, you’ll try to convince yourself that your dreams really aren’t worth the risks.

But this is my life, and I believe I will regret a risk I don’t take more than any loss I could suffer.

Which begs another question: why does it have to be so hard?

Your Ego wants to keep you safe (and mediocre).

Whether you call it your Ego or your “voice of reason” or—my favorite—your inner critic, there is a part of your psyche that wants to protect you. And if that means sacrificing your dreams, so be it.

To your Ego, your survival is the only thing that counts, and your dreams are nothing more than a dangerous distraction.

But that doesn’t mean you have to believe it.

The truth is, your Ego is just another voice inside your head. You can view it as a trusted adviser who wants you to think about the risks involved before you do anything unconventional.

It’s prudent to listen to that voice, but you’re by no means obligated to obey it. In fact, challenging it on a regular basis is probably one of the best things you can do.

And how do you do that?

Ask powerful questions.

The key to coming to terms with the Ego is to ask it powerful questions. Asking, “I’ve always struggled financially, so I guess I’m just not supposed to be an artist, right?” is not a powerful question. But asking, “Of the successful artists I admire, who would be willing to mentor me?” is.

“Who would care what I have to say anyway?” is not a powerful question. But asking, “When I believe there is great work inside me, what am I doing?” is—because it leads you in the direction of your dreams.

Small questions are powerful too. “What is the first small step I can take on the road to my dreams?” is an excellent question, and “What’s the next small step?” is a great follow-up.

Engage your Ego in a dialogue around powerful questions, and I promise you’ll receive good answers. In fact, you know you’re asking a good question by the quality of your answer.

If you don’t like the answer, change the question! The point is to free up the voice of your passion and determination, and tone down the voice of your Ego and fears.

But wait, there’s more.

Plan for the worst-case scenario.

Your Ego has another tool in its toolbox and it’s called The Worst-Case Scenario. Make no mistake, the worst-case scenario is daunting, but it’s never a good reason to abandon your dreams.

How do you deal with it? Think about possible crises before you start any passion-driven work, and decide beforehand what you would be willing to do in the face of them.