When I lived in Ireland one of the most challenging cultural things to get used to were roundabouts. Sure driving on the opposite side of the car and the wrong side of the road (wink wink) from what I had been taught was definitely challenging, however these darn roundabouts had me baffled.
For those of you not familiar with how a roundabout works as we approach a corner, instead of the absolute stop that we come to in the United States the turning of direction in Ireland was met with a circular road with several different roads spurring off from the middle island. The choices were often more than just 4 as is the case in our regular 4 –way-stops in the U.S. In addition the traffic never really stops. Everyone approaching just yields and moves into this synergistic merging of movement, all cars moving in a dance of sorts.
So, not only did you need to understand which road you wanted, you needed to know was it the first, second, third or fourth road to take. Add an additional little tricky element with everyone driving counter clock-wise. It was all so contrary to the way my brain had been patterned to think about driving.
I soon learned to love the whole experience, the quick thinking, and anticipation of merging into the dance of the circle. It wasn’t long before the roundabout became a fun part of driving and often I would actually just go round and round . . . because I could. My children would laugh and yell “rooond- a –boooot” in their finest Irish accents.
Life is a roundabout you know. There is this amazing pattern that once you know it exists you can see the roundabout in your life. Have you ever experienced something happening again and again? It is like life gives you a “do-over” opportunity . . . a chance to try it again.
Relationships are often the easiest roundabouts to notice. They will often show up with a different face in a different place. We enter into relationship hoping and believing that this time the euphoric phase will last forever, unimpeded by the automatic, repetitive patterns that will inevitably emerge from the unfinished emotional business of our past. However the opportunities for your growth and development will often be the same or very similar experiences in the end.
Those very situations and relationships in life where we point the finger at what the other person did or didn’t do is one of the opportunities I’m referring to.
Life is happening FOR you . . . not to you.
When we have challenges in life it is easy to point a finger at someone else, however each time we do we are creating the beloved roundabout energetic pattern. The more we blame and identify someone else as responsible for our life situation it is like taking a joy ride around the roundabout without exiting onto a different road. Round and round we go until we learn and grow. You will know you still have something to learn if similar patterns keep showing up. Remember, often it’s a different face in a different place AND it’s the same energetic pattern.
Be Gentle with Yourself
Now that you are aware there is a roundabout effect happening in your life. You will start to see the patterns as you look back into your past and one of our strongest tendencies is to beat ourselves up. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. Remember . . . life is a learning journey and learning is what it is all about. Doing it with awareness is so much easier and loving kindness to yourself makes the journey an absolute pleasure. So be gentle with yourself. No negative self talk about wasting time or being blind to what was right in front of your face.
Instead congratulate yourself for seeing it now and imagine how much more interesting things will be now that you have this awareness.
I’m right here beside you on this journey . . . learning as I go as well.
Next time you hit the awareness of a roundabout I encourage you to yell “roooond-a-booooot” in your finest Irish accent. It makes the whole experience a bit more exciting. Then buckle up buttercup and get ready to take responsibility for your own learning and development. If it shows up again . . . give it another try.
