In the course of our lifetimes, we will ask many questions. We will ask big, revolutionary questions, and small, mundane ones. We will ask questions about our lives, our careers, our relationships, our history, and our future.
None of these questions are arbitrary; every one of them is inextricably entwined with our human experience and our ability to navigate our lives in an empowered way. The quality of the questions we ask ourselves every day will determine whether we move toward an authentic, radically-engaged life, or stay planted in a life that constantly leaves us longing for more.
As children, we questioned everything. Who, what, when, where, and why were probably the most used words in our developing vocabularies, right up until the point where we figured out that our questions were perceived as annoying and unnecessary―or worse, regarded as dangerous.
For whatever reason, somewhere along the line it became more attractive to know the answers than to ask the questions. We started substituting conclusions for curiosity. We started relying on prior experience, rather than presence and observation, to inform our choices. We started making assumptions and judgments. We picked a “truth” from the selection offered by our parents, society, or our own experience, and stuck to it like glue―right up until that truth was challenged.
You know what I’m talking about: that defining moment when you ask, “Is this really what love is supposed to be?” “Is this all this is to life?” “Do I actually believe this, or have I just been doing what others told me to do?”
There is nothing more challenging to the human ego than the disruption or dismantling of a dearly-held conclusion. If we have lost the ability and inclination to question, these moments of revelation will feel frightening and disorienting, sometimes even to the point where hanging onto the old truth feels like a matter of life or death.
But it is in those moments of limbo―when there is no answer at hand, when the void of uncertainty is looming large―that the questions we’d almost forgotten how to ask can come to the rescue, and sweep us off in an entirely new direction.
When we take nothing for granted, we are open to infinite possibility. Instead of judgment―which is based in our prior experience and existing conclusions―we can employ discernment, and make choices based on the truth of what’s happening in front of us. This is both incredibly empowering and tremendously scary. It is also the only way to get from where we are to where we want to be.
The Deep Dive
One of my biggest (and most rewarding) jobs as an editor and book creation coach is teaching inspired authors to ask questions that lead them into the heart of their work. When they do this, their words take on an almost magical quality, and gain the power to transform, in both big and small ways, all those who read them.
It’s not enough to skim the surface of our own knowing; we must dive deep in order to retrieve the pearls of wisdom hidden beneath the waves. This depth of knowledge allows us to speak authentically and with conviction, trust ourselves and our core messages, and speak from a place of love and acceptance.
If you are ready to step beyond what you’ve known and begin to create a more authentic, radically engaged life, you need to take a deep breath and prepare to dive into the unknown. You need to strip away the layers of your past judgments, assumptions, and conclusions, and journey to the heart of who you are and what you came here to do. More, you need to be prepared to throw away all of the empty shells in your consciousness so you can focus on the shimmering pearls.
You can do all of this by re-learning how to ask a few simple but profound questions.
The Power of WHY and WHAT IF
Each of us holds a kernel of divine truth within us.
That kernel can be hard to access when it is buried under years or decades of assumptions, conclusions, and experiences, but it never disappears, and its light never gutters. When we go back to our original set of questions―the open-ended, exploratory questions we asked as children―we can circumnavigate even our most powerful or traumatic life experiences and strongly-held beliefs and dive into that brilliant, illuminated core of our own higher knowing.
The most powerful questions you will ever ask begin with why and what if. Here are just a few simple examples of where these three little words can take you.
- “Why do I think this is the right path for me?”
- “Why do I believe that I am unworthy?”
- “Why do I accept less than I know I deserve?”
- “What if I said what I feel, instead of what so-and-so wants to hear?”
- “What if I simply believed my partner when s/he says ‘I love you’?”
- “What if I spent more time doing what makes me happy?”
- “What if I took full responsibility for what I’m feeling and experiencing right now?”
Questions that start with why invite deeper understanding and clarity. Questions that start with what if open the door to new possibilities. The more you ask these questions―and the less you judge the answers―the more you will invite new possibilities, experiences, relationships, and feelings into your reality.
One of the paradoxes of the human experience is that just because something feels true in a particular moment doesn’t mean it’s actually true. When we apply open-ended questions to our feelings as well as our beliefs, actions, and conclusions, we can bypass our conditioned responses and invite a new, more expansive way of being.
Asking powerful questions takes practice, and the answers may not always feel good. If your prior judgments, assumptions, and beliefs have created pain in your reality, you will have to face that and process it in order to move through to the other side and create new touchpoints for your consciousness. But during those times when you feel lost and uncertain, or are grieving the loss of your old way of being, you can ask yet another question: “What will it be like when I step into my truth, purpose, and authenticity?” Then, let the vision of what you are becoming lift you up and keep you moving onward, upward, and into the most radically empowered version of you.
May the power of the question be with you, friends, now and forever.
