Since real life is a tad more complex than a burlesque routine or an afternoon in the thrift store, where we easily and instantaneously shed one outfit in favor of another, take your time in creating your hypnosis road map, and make sure it feels right for you. Choose something that you want but are having a hard time accomplishing. It can be concrete, such as the desire to stand up for yourself at work, or more elusive, such as the desire to enjoy your family more. Look back through the stories of your life, through your various versions of self, and see if you can identify where your programming originated by asking and answering a series of questions like the ones below:
- Does your passivity come from your family of origin or a teenage version of self where you pretended to be helpless and demure in order to get rescued or fawned upon?
- Is it a behavior picked up in adulthood after repeatedly being passed over for promotions?
- In regard to a lack of heart-centered connection during family time, has this always been a challenge for you?
- Did it evolve over the years as more and more elaborate family rituals and responsibilities bogged you down?
Sometimes we know exactly where our programming came from, and other times we have no idea at all. While it can be interesting to learn where your beliefs were first created, it is not necessary to know every detail. It is necessary, however, to know what behavior or subconscious programming you want to release, and what behavior you want to adopt.
Begin by making a list of the subconscious programming you want to release, in clear, direct statements, such as:
- I release my negative self-talk.
- I release my need to “do it all,” to constantly seek approval from others.
- I no longer find myself criticizing or commenting on others.
- I release my belief that women should be submissive.
- I am no longer affected by the negativity of those around me.
- I release my addiction to smoking.
For each of those statements, write out what your ideal new behavior looks like. These affirmative statements are the suggestions that you will teach your subconscious mind during the self-hypnosis session, so make them clear and positive, and write them in the present tense, like this:
- Each and every time I feel the need to condemn or judge myself, I find myself being gentle and compassionate with myself instead.
- Each day, in unexpected ways, I receive and gratefully accept love and assistance from those around me. I find that I judge myself less and enjoy myself more.
- From this point forward, I enjoy other people’s unique modes of doing things because I find that I learn from them in unexpected ways.
- I take steps to show the world that I am a powerful, visible, and worthy woman.
- I create vibrant joy within myself, no matter my circumstances.
- When I feel the craving for a cigarette, I take a walk, chew some gum, and think about my beautiful, healthy lungs.
Another way to do this is by relabeling yourself in a way that’s authentic for you: “Although in the past I used humor as a defense, I am now secure and confident in myself, and this defense is no longer necessary.” Or “I’m healthy, fit, and strong. Every day I crave activities and foods that are healthy for me and my body.” You can even use a more analytical statement such as “New behaviors become easier and easier each time I choose them.” Or “I develop new neural pathways that become stronger and stronger every day.”
Choose statements that feel right for you, are written in your own voice, and clearly affirm what you wish to become. You want to be excited by your suggestions, not roll your eyes at them!
Next, pick three anchors, which are key statements to anchor new beliefs into your subconscious mind: a physical anchor, an intellectual anchor, and a spiritual anchor. These are touch points to use in your daily life whenever you are confronted with a situation where you tend to react subconsciously and engage in behavior that does not support your conscious goals and desires. These anchors help move you out of your old, subconscious programming and into the behavior that is congruent with who you are now.
The physical anchor is a movement that can easily be done anytime, anywhere. It can be twisting a ring, putting on hand lotion, twirling your hair, or taking a sip of water. The intellectual anchor is a word or a phrase that is repeated silently whenever your thoughts spiral toward reflexive or unconscious behavior. The word or phrase reminds both the conscious and the subconscious portions of the brain what you wish to accomplish, pulling your thoughts out of the subconscious realm and planting them firmly back in the conscious mind. The spiritual anchor is the act of taking a long, slow, deep breath, making the exhalation longer than the inhalation, and consciously relaxing. The English word spirit comes from the Latin spiritus, which means “breath.” In most spiritual traditions, breath is seen as the way to connect the physical with the divine. Taking a breath oxygenates the body, releases tension, slows down the heart rate, and connects you back to your highest self.
