I always was the one who felt “I can do it better and faster if I just do it myself”, my ego’s way of justifying my rejection “shields” and avoidance of failure as real and necessary to my very existence. Can you relate?
As I grew in my leadership role, I realized this concept would not serve me long. Keeping it up would lead to burn out and not walking my talk. After all, my goal was to develop others. How could I develop others if I didn’t give them the opportunity to let their light shine?! I had to leave my ego at the door and trust. Trust they would do the best job they could, trust they believed in me enough to give their best and trust they were the expert. I hired them to do the job!
Once I let others shine, I realized that I shone as a reflection of them! That became more fulfilling than performing the activity. Not only were they happy and engaged, they produced results. It was a win, win. That was an aha moment that I still believe in today and is the cornerstone to my own self-care; letting go of my ego and receive the help of others brilliance.
Let’s face it. None of us like to say “we can’t do it”. After all, can’t means won’t, which means we have made a choice to not do something. Sometimes, though, we kid ourselves. We don’t say we can’t do something, we simply make the choice not to do something. We give up before we even try, simply because we refused to ask for help when we need it most.
We were brought up to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. And, as women over the last 40 years, we have been taught that we need to embrace our power and walk in it. Today, I am asking you take down that “I can do it alone” shield. I am challenging you to walk in a newfound power. One that is hidden deep inside. It’s the power of reaching out to others, your kindred spirits, your tribe, your posse, whatever you want to call them. They are the people who will never, ever let you down. But, you have to be willing to ask and then receive their help.
When you are sick, what do you do? Let me rephrase that because I know a bunch of you think you can stick it out and cure yourselves. What if your child or pet or parent was sick? You would call the doctor or the vet and ensure they get to their appointment and their medicine, right? You want them to heal and feel better.
So why do you allow yourself to hurt? Why do you make yourself “do it the hard way”? Because your parents said so? Your boss? Your teachers? Guess what! You are not tied to their judgments and thoughts. You have the power to make your own decisions, create your own beliefs and open yourself up to the love that others are just waiting to give you. Allow yourself the gift to become connected with others, to belong and to see that you are “normal”. The rest of us are going through the same loneliness of going it alone!
I left my job three months ago to work from home. I had no idea what I was doing, but I trusted in myself and the support groups that I had in place. I have never felt more connected to others than when I was alone, sitting in my corporate America office. I never fit in and therefore, never asked for help when I needed it most. I could tough it out. And when I did ask for help, it was ignored. Hence, my decision to get out. I no longer wanted to tough it out, to work in loneliness and falseness. It wasn’t who I am.
So, you may ask, how am I not lonely when day in and day out, I spend working in solitude? Yep, you got it, I work in solitude not loneliness. I love my time to write and reflect. As I write this, I have a candle burning and Christmas music in the background. I am pouring my heart to you, asking for your love and support while I give you strength and encouragement through my writing. I am giving and I am receiving, all at the same time! How awesome is that?
When I need the support of others, I am no longer afraid to ask. I go to yoga to connect my mind and body and spend time with two women that I adore (you know who you are!). I engage with my success coach several times a week, through phone calls, email and text. She is always by my side, cheering me on! When my energy feels stuck and I can’t clear it on my own, I visit Nina. When I need someone to listen and ground me, I talk to my husband. I have connections through Facebook groups, full of women who are doing the same thing as I am, living their dream! When I need encouragement, I turn to my parents who think I can move the world. I am no longer afraid to ask for help because when I do, I become peaceful and joyous. There is no stress, there is no “hard work”.
I used to wallow for weeks in sadness and unhappiness simply because I couldn’t ask for help because I didn’t want to appear weak. Dear readers, I am not weak. I am standing in my power and opening myself up to the wonderful world of both giving and receiving!
As always, I love to leave my readers with a challenge, just to get the juices flowing. This week, take one opportunity to ask and receive. Allow your heart to open and simply ask. There are so many “angels” out there waiting to help you, who ask for nothing in return except your smile and peace.
