I’m a physician researcher who always wanted to make a point that it can be done, just watch. While in college at UCLA, I pursued Biochemistry as my major and was told that it was the “hardest major with too many classes” and I should avoid it. I then went on to become the top student in that major. From my background as a Middle Eastern female, I was always told that I should “marry a doctor” and not become one. I became one.
I believe we can all defy odds in different ways. The key is to be open to change and realize that shifts in your life, perspective, and circumstances are just what you may need. They happen for you and not to you.
As you go through life, here are some ideas to keep in mind:
- View obstacles as opportunities – All obstacles whether big or small are challenging. They can be devastating and life-changing or mere inconveniences. You may not understand why something is happening, but you know you can’t ignore it or run away from it — you have to deal with it. While you may not be able to control what’s happening, you can control how you perceive it. Viewing it in a positive light isn’t always easy to do, but it’s your best option. Think to yourself “Why is this happening? What is this teaching me? How can this benefit me?” Turn it around. It may seem difficult but it’s there to serve you.
Notice the emotions that well up and isolate them. Consider creating a “worry time” each day when you allow yourself to let negative thoughts seep in. During other times, think of how the obstacle can benefit you. Then, put the worrying aside. This practice alone will lift your spirits.
- Be flexible – Flexibility is key to being resilient. I recently completed a study of 60 wise adults and scientifically defined wisdom as eight elements — resilience, kindness, positivity, spirituality, humility, tolerance, creativity, and curiosity. Resilience was the most prevalent element that emerged. It’s an essential life skill. Resilience is what will help you live your best life.
If you tend to stick to what has always worked, start making an effort to think outside the box. You never know what you may learn and how this can serve you. I’m a creature of habit and am more comfortable eating the same foods, dressing the same way, and going to the same places. But this can become a boring way to live. The times in which I was more inventive and flexible resulted in more growth.
- Be a warrior, not a victim – As you encounter the ups and downs of life, tell yourself that you can handle them. Instead of questioning “Why me?” think “Why not me?” The obstacle is a test and you can pass that test. It doesn’t mean that you need to be ready to fight or on high alert at all times. Instead, it means that when the challenge arises, your attitude is “Bring it on, I can handle it!”
- Live in faith, not in fear – When my body started to experience medical challenges, I was sad and anxious about not being able to serve as a clinician for much longer. I’d never have imagined that my condition would open another door and I’d embark on a study and write a book. I as too busy worrying and living in fear. In fact, I came to realize that I’ve lived in fear my whole life. I was always afraid of not succeeding, so I went above and beyond the call of duty. If someone had told me that everything would work itself out and to “live in faith,” I wouldn’t have been so anxious or worried about succeeding.
Things do work out. That thought alone will help everything feel lighter.
- Practice gratitude – The hype around gratitude is something I’d never fully understood until I realized that it was the only sentiment in life that could help me move forward. Gratitude as a type of forced appreciation became something I needed. Keeping a gratitude journal makes us think about things we normally wouldn’t have considered. For example, a stroke patient should be grateful for the part of the body that does work and not think about the part that doesn’t.
Having gratitude for the less obvious is an uncommon practice, but it’s what will help you move past the hurdle of negativity.
- Have patience – First of all, patience shows others that you respect them and that what they have to say matters. After all, we each deserve respect. It also allows you to think about a situation clearly and not jump to assumptions or conclusions. If something upsets you, patience allows you to put aside your emotions and think logically and clearly. Patience really is a virtue.
If, like myself, you lack patience, I suggest that before making a big decision, you force yourself to take a bit more time. Exercise patience so that you don’t mistakenly make a rash decision.
Life is full of obstacles and nay-sayers. People have a natural negativity bias and think about the worst-case rather than the best-case scenario. People also live in fear. View anything that comes your way as a challenge. You’ll prove others wrong, and you’ll find more contentment in your life.
